Thursday, August 24, 2006

but... but... but....

S.E. took exception to one point of my assessment. She thinks I DO get hurt easily but that I DON'T recover easily. Thus began a Private discussion, just S.E. and me... oh, and you now!

I said my assessment was correct, except when it came to certain people.
She was still incredulous: "I believe you, as I reread the statement - you ARE correct! It was not an EASY hurt - soooo, you have not EASILY recovered, soooo... statement is correct. easily hurt and easily recovered"

I said:
"It's like this ... I guess...
I do make "friends" easily... But I think it takes time to form REAL friendships (though some come easier than others).
It takes a real investment... In time, in emotion, in understanding...
I believe I put a lot into a real friendship.

My problem, I guess, is that I expect the same from others and SOMETIMES I get very very burnt by that. Not often, mind you... But sometimes.
You end up wondering why, if we were so close how can someone, just ALL OF A SUDDEN, drop completely out of your life and seem to not miss you at all??

Then, you step back and start to analyze things. You start to realize how WOUNDED (emotionally) these people are. Why didn't I see it before? Was I blind? A fool?

I've paid attention, lately, to the wounds that people carry. So many people are messed up, I mean really messed up. And I guess something in me wants to "make it all better". Maybe that's why I stayed married as long as I did.
Maybe that's why I want to be a massage therapist... At least then I can fix SOMETHING that's wrong with a person, for a little while.

As T said, it has to be someone important to me for it to really hurt.
So... Hurt easily by an friend/acquaintance? = no; annoyed? Yes; peeved? Yes.
That's easily "gotten over".
Hurt easily by a REAL Friend? Well now, there's the rub... I'm not often HURT by REAL Friends. So if it happens, yes you're right I DON'T GET OVER IT EASILY.

Oh my.... I think this is a Blog Entry... "

Know this, S.E. You are the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. I treasure our friendship and I will always be here for you. Love you!

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