Tuesday, January 09, 2007

I'm stupid...

"I am not sure if you understand the system" = "You're stupid"

Okay, maybe you didn't say I was stupid... but you know it felt that way.

As the song says: "Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes..."

I asked you a question. There was no whining involved, no accusations... just a simple question. And the request wasn't even FOR ME! So why then did your response sound like you were sending me on a guilt trip?

You know, I answered your email. I responded to every line. I even typed it out and printed it. It wasn't pretty. Then I tore it up. It was cathartic.

Just like this blog. It's a purgative (figuratively of course!), an emotional cleansing.

Blogging/journaling helps me to "step outside" myself and try to see things from a different perspective.

So, if I look at your email again through "other" eyes... It seems to me the guilt trip might be yours. You're pulled in several directions at once. You are so consumed with helping people... you feel guilty when you can't help everyone. I'm thinking the manifestation of your feelings aren't exactly appropriate, but when do any of us respond appropriately to that kind of stress?
By manifestations, I guess I mean you acting as if I'm causing some affront just by asking. I mean, can't I read your mind for god's sake?

You work all the time. You never plan time for yourself. That is a big mistake. You must set aside some time for yourself... but why listen to me? I'm stupid... remember?

You signed it, "Love you"

Well, you know what? I LOVE YOU TOO.

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