Words are like weapons...

I have recently been told some things that happened in my grade school days about which I was completely oblivious. I imagine I was oblivious about a lot of things in my teen years, it just kind of comes with the territory. But all in all, my school days went pretty easily for me. Not so for everyone it seems. Yes, I know... shocking, eh?

Hey, I did say I was kinda oblivious.

I got along with most everyone. I got along with the popular kids without actually Being one. I got along with the 'outsider' types though I wasn't an outsider. I got along with the 'Heads' (for you uninitiated... that's what we called the drug crowd) without ever trying drugs (in grade school anyway).

I was never the shy type but wasn't the performing type either.

I Was the artsy type and the language class type,

(5 long years of Español).

La escuela era 'pan comido' para mi.

At school and growing up in general, I was always told (from my earliest memories) that I could do whatever I wanted if I worked hard at it. Why would you tell anyone anything different?

So I was chatting with a school mate/very close friend and I found out that this person's high school days were not like mine at all.

The most important thing I found out is this... If you are a teacher, FOR GOD'S SAKE be careful what you say to an individual!!

That seems almost like common sense, doesn't it? Apparently not for everyone.

An offhanded comment might mean very little to you but it might make a lasting impression on that student.

Case in point, my friend was told not to plan a career in a particular field as they were 'not particularly talented'...

um, What? REALLY?!?!?!?

I was pissed!

Who in their right mind tells a young person this?

Okay, I can see telling an adult who is tone deaf that becoming the next Tony Bennett is probably not in the cards, but... come on.

This statement has followed this individual throughout their life and has nagged and eroded their self confidence the entire way.

I was so livid to learn this and totally flabbergasted. I just couldn't imagine being told such a thing at a young age, especially when it involved a beloved avocation.

My reaction was so forceful that my friend became very emotional, having realized that Someone now understood how damaging the statement was in this person's life.

Please, folks... be careful what you say to children.

"Words are like weapons... they wound sometimes."

my wish list...

My mother keeps saying, "I haven't gotten a list from you yet"

Which means, 'If you want a christmas gift... you'd best better tell me what you want' 

Yeah, she really talks that way.

Okay, Mom... here's ONE of my wish lists:

I really like the proliferation of "Wishlist" features on websites.  If for no other reason than they remind me of stuff I'd like to buy when I have the bucks.  

I just placed two new items on the Amazon wish list, the Nosferatu (The Ultimate Two-Disc DVD Edition)  and Metropolis (Restored Authorized Edition).

Here is my Gaiam.com gift registry

And my Barnes & Noble wishlist. 

something in the water??

I'd like to know just what the hell is going on with my friends lately.

So many of them are having a really hard time.
I mentioned this before in my post Dichotomy.
My best buddy, C has been living a nightmare for over a year now. He's plugging along but it is so hard for him. I do what I can... but really, what can I do?
My friend T.J. has a less than favorable diagnosis and he too is living life as best he can. He's a fighter. And he has the love of his Sarah to keep him warm and he has many good friends.

Then there is my love, P.M. who is having trials and tribulations to deal with too. Being distant seems to be how P.M. deals with this particular problem. But that's not "how I roll" (if you don't mind me using the latest catch phrase). As I said yesterday... I have to FIX things. When I can't I agonize. So, again, What can I do?

I'm here...
I'm here for C and I'd do anything to help him.
I'm here for T.J., I listen when he wants to rant. I try to attend his karaoke gigs whenever possible... I try to be available.
And as for P.M., I love you and I'm here whenever you call and feel the need for companionship. I await your call or your email or your text... every moment of every day.
As I said in my post yesterday... I'm so very thankful to have had time with you recently and I look forward to the next time.

My life has been going so well... I only want to share it with my friends. I try to be up-beat and cheerful because I believe good vibes are so very important.

As Natalie Merchant sings: Life is Sweet!
I want you all to experience it the way I do.
I love you guys... so, so much!

dichotomy...

I've been living a strange duality, of late.

On one side, I have a very good friend who is dealing with clinical depression, one friend has been diagnosed with Level 2 Astrocytoma, one friend just died suddenly on the job. I'm stuggling to deal with these circumstances... to "make sense".

On the other side, My life has taken a direction that is completely joyful and healing... for me as well as the people I get to help. I've never been happier in my life... I've never been happier WITH my life.

Yet, I grieve the loss of my friend, Ray. He died last week, on the job. We had his memorial service on Tuesday and the chapel was overflowing with friends, many friends that I have not seen in a very long time. Sad that it takes such circumstances to bring us back together. I will miss Ray's laugh, his smile and his bear hugs... especially the hugs!

I grieve the (emotional) loss of my mentor/best buddy "C" and I pray he finds his way back. He's dealing with turmoil and obstacles in his life much of which was thrust upon him. He did not have a choice and that loss of control is somthing he's not dealing with well.

I have to believe he will come back, for my own sanity as much as his. I need him.

My friend T.J. was diagnosed with a temporal lobe tumor a few weeks ago. I grieve the losses he has suffered and continue to hope and pray he will beat this.

Again, I have to believe that he will. The joyful part is he still has the ability to crack me up with his special brand of humor. He's pretty amazing for one so young. He must beat this.

I know they will. There's is no alternative really... I need to believe T.J. will remain in my life, I refuse to believe C will leave me. They must not go... like Ray, literally or figuratively. I can't lose any more loved ones.

Am I being whiney and selfish? I haven't had nearly the loss that some people have had. I haven't lost a spouse/partner as Pat has. I haven't lost a child or a parent. But my losses are losses of my heart, never to be replaced. They are "holes", if you will, holes in my heart.

And from this moment on, I refuse to "lose" friends because of petty disagreements. Not from hurt feelings or emotional slights, no... no more. Be what you are able to be in my life, give what you can... but I will remain your friend... no matter what.

Thus the Duality I'm feeling.

"How are you, Peg" everyone asks. And I usually say, "I'm good", "I'm GREAT", "I'm the happiest I can ever remember being" and it's so, so true.

But I'm sad also, I'm lonely, I'm grieving, I'm impatient, I long for... I ache for ... oh, many things.

I feel pulled in different directions. I literally feel PULLED APART!

It's exhausting and disorienting.

Yet another Hurricane...

Hurricane Rita - Wow! Mother Nature must really be in a mood... I know just how she feels!

Satellite Imagery from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's website.

Rita is the 17th named storm of the Atlantic hurricane season, making this the fourth-busiest season since record-keeping started in 1851.

My Step-son lives in Ft. Lauderdale and I sent him an email to check on him. I just had to share his response with you (he cracks me up). They were lucky this time, it passed them by. I hope he doesn't mind my sharing!

Hey there!

I just woke up, thought I heard some noise overnight and I haven't been watching the news.
I actually drove to Miami International Airport last night to pick up a package and I thought "wow, I picked a good night and a good time, there's nobody here."
I did think the winds were a bit gusty, but that's normal around here sometimes. I just whizzed to the airport and back and there was no traffic, no parking problems, no crowds of people. I never had a trip to MIA so good...I just forgot to notice that there were also NO PLANES. They had already moved all the airplanes to other airports and there were none waiting on the tarmac, none lined up in the sky...I can be just clueless sometimes, but hey you do know I am a blonde, right?

So when I listened to my voicemail this morning, it was a friend from Miami and she said "Oh another hurricane...well, at least it's not as bad as last time."

To which I said to myself: "What HURRICANE?"

I need to get out of bed more often.

I am fine, just wonder where the two plastic Adirondack chairs that were sitting on my front porch are.

Me