Sunday, January 28, 2007


"Have I told you lately that one day I am going to tie you firmly, spank you and..."

Oh, how I just love it when emails start out that way!!!!

Friday, January 26, 2007

Transference, Countertransference & Dual Roles

Oh, the discussions I have in my own head...
and no, I'm not saying I talk to myself... yes, you do ... no I don't... yes... no..

Wikipedia says:
In a therapy context, transference refers to redirection of a client's feelings from a significant person to a therapist. Transference is often manifested as an erotic attraction towards a therapist. Although transference is often characterized as a useful tool for building trust between a client and a therapist, transference can also interfere with a therapist’s ability to help a client.
Counter-transference is defined as redirection of a therapist's feelings toward a client, or more generally as a therapist's emotional entanglement with a client. Some therapists become confused between clients and intimate partners if countertransference is not recognized and appropriately addressed by the therapist.

and then there's "Dual Roles" or "Dual Relationships"

One source says:
A dual relationship exists when a therapist serves in the capacity of both therapist and at least one other role with the same client. Most commonly the second relationship is social, financial, or professional and may be concurrent
or subsequent to the therapeutic relationship.

Another says:
Besides sex with a client, other examples of dual relationships are engaging in therapy with a friend, a student, a colleague or a business associate. Additional forms of dual relationships might be such shared activities as attending the same church, belonging to the same social club or recreational sports league, attending the same conferences or political rallies.

So, my question is... What do you do about Dual Relationships?
In many cases, you may have a relationship with someone BEFORE you become their therapist.
Now I can see how, in the world of medicine or psychotherapy, you should NOT take a friend or loved one as a client (though we know it happens). But what about other forms of therapy? Physical Therapy/Rehabilitation? Massage Therapy? Other wellness therapies? Where exactly should you draw the line?
In my own experience, as a massage therapy student... it's a given that I have friends/family as my first (practice) clients. And it's conceivable that they may very well remain my clients.

How Do You Avoid Transference/Countertransference?
I've experienced transference in my own life. Then again... HAVE I?
Is it automatically considered transference if you become "involved" with an authority figure?
If I become friends with a therapist, a coach, a teacher or perhaps a supervisor... is it Transference? absolutely? Might I have become friends with the individual if I'd met them in some other environment? I make friends all the time, it's just who I am.
It seems the very nature of the term Transference means you're projecting past feelings and experiences ONTO this new individual. I don't believe I've ever done that. Have I? I become close to someone because we "click". Emotionally, physically... whatever.

We're human! We're taught to LOVE our clients. How can you attempt to help someone heal if you do not? How can you make someone FEEL better? How can you ever transfer any energy, warmth, "good vibes" if you do NOT love them?

How then can it NOT become personal?

Ah, life's delicious duality!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

code words...

I say lots of things... and I say them often...
"I love you"... yup, I say that a lot. There are several people I do, Truly love.
"I want you"... uh huh.... there is someone that I want... almost all of the time.
"How are you feeling today?"... and when I say it, I really mean it.
"I care about you", "I'd like to help", "How can I make it better?", "I'm listening"
I call often, I text often, I email often.... okay, maybe too often. So sue me...

BUT when I say, "i need a hug" it's a kind of code. I don't say it that often... and I don't say it to many people.
It's code for "I'm hurting", "I need a shoulder to cry on", "I need comforting", "I need someone who really cares about me"

almost human now
striving to overcome it
despair's a deep pit

How is it that you can fix physical pain so well, but are so unwilling to deal with emotional pain?? Your's, mine, anyones?

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

deep sigh...

Today, I'm feeling.... kinda.....

Main Entry: wist·ful
Pronunciation: 'wist-f&l
Function: adjective
Etymology: blend of wishful and obsolete English wistly intently
1 : full of yearning or desire tinged with melancholy; also : inspiring such yearning, a wistful memoir
2 : musingly sad : PENSIVE
- wist·ful·ly /-f&-lE/ adverb
- wist·ful·ness noun

Not sure why really... I guess I'm coming down off my Weekend High.
And I was so high over the weekend.
It was, Joyous!

Sunday, January 21, 2007

chick flick?

"I have to ask you a question. It's a good one so think about it. If two people love each other, but they just can't seem to get it together, when do you get to that point of enough is enough?"


my time...

relax, touch by touch
we got part of the way through
but something came up

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

I'm stupid...

"I am not sure if you understand the system" = "You're stupid"

Okay, maybe you didn't say I was stupid... but you know it felt that way.

As the song says: "Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes..."

I asked you a question. There was no whining involved, no accusations... just a simple question. And the request wasn't even FOR ME! So why then did your response sound like you were sending me on a guilt trip?

You know, I answered your email. I responded to every line. I even typed it out and printed it. It wasn't pretty. Then I tore it up. It was cathartic.

Just like this blog. It's a purgative (figuratively of course!), an emotional cleansing.

Blogging/journaling helps me to "step outside" myself and try to see things from a different perspective.

So, if I look at your email again through "other" eyes... It seems to me the guilt trip might be yours. You're pulled in several directions at once. You are so consumed with helping people... you feel guilty when you can't help everyone. I'm thinking the manifestation of your feelings aren't exactly appropriate, but when do any of us respond appropriately to that kind of stress?
By manifestations, I guess I mean you acting as if I'm causing some affront just by asking. I mean, can't I read your mind for god's sake?

You work all the time. You never plan time for yourself. That is a big mistake. You must set aside some time for yourself... but why listen to me? I'm stupid... remember?

You signed it, "Love you"

Well, you know what? I LOVE YOU TOO.

Friday, January 05, 2007

I'm a store owner...

I finally bit the bullet and started my own cafepress store. Okay, be warned... it is kinda esoteric. My first product is inspired by my quest for knowledge... specifically anatomy. It's rather "tongue-in-cheek".
I also created a store for my Massage School.
You can access them separately or you can use this LINK to see all the products at both stores.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Today is: 2007年1月2日 星期二 丙戌年十一月十四

Of course, that's by the Gregorian Calendar...

the Chinese New Year begins on 2/18/2007

Okay, so I'm a day late. I was vegging yesterday.
I have a big muscle test on Thursday and was I studying? Nope, I feel really bad about that but I just sat on my ass most of the day. I did do a little cleaning and some laundry... but mostly just watched TV. Actually, I do pretty well with the ole Last Minute CRAM for the EXAM, but I'd like to say my new year's resolution is to study more this year. We'll see.