Monday, December 31, 2007

Sunday, December 30, 2007


i do understand
low of your priorities
but it does still hurt

Thursday, December 20, 2007


I've been living a strange duality, of late.

On one side, I have a very good friend who is dealing with clinical depression, one friend has been diagnosed with Level 2 Astrocytoma, one friend just died suddenly on the job. I'm stuggling to deal with these circumstances... to "make sense".

On the other side, My life has taken a direction that is completely joyful and healing... for me as well as the people I get to help. I've never been happier in my life... I've never been happier WITH my life.

Yet, I grieve the loss of my friend, Ray. He died last week, on the job. We had his memorial service on Tuesday and the chapel was overflowing with friends, many friends that I have not seen in a very long time. Sad that it takes such circumstances to bring us back together. I will miss Ray's laugh, his smile and his bear hugs... especially the hugs!

I grieve the (emotional) loss of my mentor/best buddy "C" and I pray he finds his way back. He's dealing with turmoil and obstacles in his life much of which was thrust upon him. He did not have a choice and that loss of control is somthing he's not dealing with well.

I have to believe he will come back, for my own sanity as much as his. I need him.

My friend T.J. was diagnosed with a temporal lobe tumor a few weeks ago. I grieve the losses he has suffered and continue to hope and pray he will beat this.

Again, I have to believe that he will. The joyful part is he still has the ability to crack me up with his special brand of humor. He's pretty amazing for one so young. He must beat this.

I know they will. There's is no alternative really... I need to believe T.J. will remain in my life, I refuse to believe C will leave me. They must not go... like Ray, literally or figuratively. I can't lose any more loved ones.

Am I being whiney and selfish? I haven't had nearly the loss that some people have had. I haven't lost a spouse/partner as Pat has. I haven't lost a child or a parent. But my losses are losses of my heart, never to be replaced. They are "holes", if you will, holes in my heart.

And from this moment on, I refuse to "lose" friends because of petty disagreements. Not from hurt feelings or emotional slights, no... no more. Be what you are able to be in my life, give what you can... but I will remain your friend... no matter what.

Thus the Duality I'm feeling.

"How are you, Peg" everyone asks. And I usually say, "I'm good", "I'm GREAT", "I'm the happiest I can ever remember being" and it's so, so true.

But I'm sad also, I'm lonely, I'm grieving, I'm impatient, I long for... I ache for ... oh, many things.

I feel pulled in different directions. I literally feel PULLED APART!

It's exhausting and disorienting.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Monday, December 17, 2007

another of those stupid MySpace questionnaires...

My friend, T.J. has been recuperating at home from an illness and he gets really bored. He spends time answering a lot of those "getting to know your friends" surveys. And damn it... I can't seem to resist.
Just say NO!!!

But if you can't resist either.... copy and answer for yourself. (Let me know you did I'd like to read it on your blog when you're done.)

1. How late did you stay up last night and why? ~about 2am... that's pretty typical for me.

2. What was the first thing you thought when you got up? ~DAMN, gotta go to work.

3. What's your ringtone on your phone? ~there are certain ringtones for certain people... but the general one is JOY by Apollo 100, otherwise known as: Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring by
J.S. Bach

4. What did you do last night? ~had dinner with friends then watched TV and surfed the web.

5. Where do you work? ~where do I start? I work for Hanover County (and have forever) and I work as a massage therapist for Institute of Massage Therapies and I'm a motorcycle safety instructor for Motorcycle Safety Center of VA

6. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? ~yes, would like to think the one I'm in will last a good long while.

7. Do you own a stereo that costs more than £100? ~yeah, I guess.... how the hell much is that in DOLLARS?

8. Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them and meant it? ~many many times

9. How's your heart lately? ~ it's okay.... usually worn on my sleave and easily bruised.

10. What were you doing this morning at 7am? ~trying my damnedest to wake up

11. What were you doing this afternoon at 12pm? ~is that yesterday at 12pm? uh... getting ready to pick T.J. up.

12. What radio station do you listen to the most? ~XM radio and the station varies

13. What kind of music is it? ~didn't I say it VARIES!?!?!

14. What was the reason you last cried? ~ This week, a good friend died... electrocuted... a bad, bad week.

15. Have you ever talked to someone when they were high? ~who hasn't?.

16. Who was it? ~Which time?

17. What song is stuck in your head? ~Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring by Apollo 100 ... OH! WAIT... gotta answer my phone... brb.

18. Who was the last person you called? ~Mom... she didn't answer..what's up with that?

19. Who filled this out before you? ~Well, T.J. of course!

20. How many red lights have you ran? ~hopefully not that many.

21. Have you ever cried while taking a shower? ~hell yeah

22. What was your least favorite year at school? ~how the hell should I know.... they were okay.

23. What were you doing at 12am last night? ~some shit on the computer

26. When was the last time you were given a rose? ~I don't remember

27. Is there anything that you are craving right now? ~don't know.... but T.J. makes that Ensure sound mighty interesting!

28. When did your last hug take place? ~actually, my roommate thought I needed a hug this morning. Got several last night.

29. Do people ever make stupid mistakes when spelling or saying your name? ~Yes.

30. Have you ever started a sentence with "No offense, but..."? ~Yup

31. Do you drink tea? ~Yes... tons of it... hot or cold

32. When was the last time you saw a cop? ~Today

33. Did you ride in someone else's car today? ~not yet

34. Have you made a mistake this past week? ~I'm sure

35. What are you listening to right now? ~XM radio (Christmas music) and T talking to me on the phone

36. Who was the last person to text you? ~Gail

37. Do you miss someone? ~every minute I'm not with him.

39. Are you happy with your life? ~absolutely... I'm having a blast.

41. Is there a feeling you're trying to avoid? ~anxiety or angst... I try to be patient.

44. Are you sleeping somewhere other than home Saturday night? ~why? what have you heard?

45. What song makes you think of the person you like? ~Day is Done

And just don't ask where numbers 24, 25, 38, 40, 42 and 43 went! I don't have a clue.

Christmas lights

Christmas lights

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

haiku of lamenting...

what of my feelings?
are mine of little concern
am I the strong one?

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Nuclear Reindeer?

I know this is hard to see, but in person it's downright freaky. It lights up
the whole neighborhood!

sent from my iphone.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Karaoke night

My fav KJ Amanda started a new gig at a new restaurant in town called Highwater. It overlooks the Kanawa Canal in a part of the city known
as Shockoe Slip. Really cool place!

sent from my iphone.

Monday, November 12, 2007

from the MOVIES I SOMEHOW MISSED archive...

It's a holiday... Veterans Day. I really thought I was just gonna sit on my ass all day (one of my favorite past times) but I got a call from I.M.T. that I had a client this afternoon.
Well, that's good, really it is.
I did get some couch time in today. Watched this movie:

How did I miss this one... it was very good, Chick Flick I guess.

Then I watched this one (VERY different):

Land of the Blind

and we KNOW how much I like Ralph Fiennes! Definitely NOT a chick flick.

Friday, October 26, 2007

hopes and dreams...

I pray to hear it
just waiting for you to say
come be with me please

Thursday, October 25, 2007

I'm always here... if you need me...

I've tried every tact I can think. I've been understanding, I've been funny, I've been helpful, I've gotten angry, I've soaked up some of your depression (albeit unintentionally), I've spoken seductively and used ribald language, and I've been loving and caring...

always loving and caring.

Some things help... for a short time and some things make no impression at all. It appears that when we spend time together... you "perk up" and yet the next day... you're right back to sleeping thru your depression for most of the day.

I'm frustrated and tired, my energy and enthusiasm are depleted... and yet, I will never give up! I'm here... by your side (figuratively) for the duration.

It's still a waiting game. Your life is in Limbo. I do understand that this is the hardest thing you've ever had to do

Monday, October 22, 2007

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

and last but not least...

I received my license from Virginia Board of Nursing last Friday!
So I'm legal! Did I tell you that my teacher (and owner of the school) hired me as a Therapist at the Clinic at the Institute??? I've had two clients already.

Now I just need to retire from my day job!!!
4 years, 0 months, 0 weeks, 2 days, 22 hours..... but who's counting?!

Monday, October 08, 2007

too quiet...

with a heavy heart
i dream of you calling me
won't happen will it?

Sunday, October 07, 2007


speak to me my dear
do I deserve so little,
have I not earned it?

Saturday, October 06, 2007

A wasted Saturday? Never!

Then I watched Last Holiday with Queen Latifah
Great quote by Gérard Depardieu as Chef Didier:

"The secret of life is... butter"

One down, one to go...

It came in the mail yesterday! I'm officially NCTMB (Nationally Certified in Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork)! Now I'm waiting for the state Board of Nursing to send me my license.

Our deepest fear...

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Author: Marianne Williamson

"Our greatest fear" from her book 'A return to love'

I just watched Akeelah and the Bee. What an awesome movie! I cried through the second half... not because it was sad, nope, because it was just so uplifting. Yeah? Go ahead, call it a 'chick flick' if you must... but this 'Chick' loved it!

Friday, October 05, 2007

still waiting...

I'm still impatiently waiting for my certificate from NCBTMB (and sometimes Y) and for my license from the VA Board of Nursing. The state DID cash my check this week... so hopefully it's in the works!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Harley-Davidson: Live by it.

Awesome video. However, near then end... the voices in unison begin to sound a little like the Borg... a little creepy.

Friday, September 28, 2007

balm for my heart and soul...

what a great present
twas the perfect thing to say
are you back to stay?

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Hallelujah! Eureka! and Hot Damn!

Got my "official" report from NCBTMB (and sometimes Y) and Thomson Prometric of my performance on the National Certification Exam. They break it down between the 6 general knowledge content areas:
1. General Knowledge of Body Systems
2. Anatomy, Physiology and Kinesiology
3. Pathology
4. Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork Assessment
5. Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork Application
6. Professional Standards, Ethics, Business and Legal Practices

I made "HIGH" in all 6 categories!!!!!
Yes, Yes, Yes!
Ouch, I think I just hurt my arm... patting myself on my back... hehe
I think I need a massage.

Monday, September 24, 2007

my gratitude...

you gifted me that
and made me feel at least loved
you are still with me

let that be my hug
feel the love wrapped up in it
doing what he can

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Friday, September 21, 2007

I passed!

I passed the NCBTMB National Certification Exam yesterday morning. YES!
160 questions. When I started and saw the first few questions, I thought I was screwed! Holy Shit, what is this stuff???

It did get a little better though. Obviously, since I passed. And that's all they tell you when you finish... you passed or you didn't pass. I'm supposed to get an "official" report telling me if I scored High, Middle or Low and the areas I need to work on.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Happy Birthday, C

Today is the birthday of one of my Favorite People. I sang this to him on his voicemail this morning.
Happy Birthday, C... I love you.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Revenge is a dish best served...

And she didn't want me to buy the blue rubber shoes! Haha!

sent from my iPhone

The shoe police...

I'm on vacation in Myrtle Beach, NC with three other wacko women.
We were in a store at Broadway At The Beach and, as I pick up the
items pictured above, I hear a loud voice (my friend) from across the
store, "STEP AWAY from the blue rubber shoes!!!"

sent from my iPhone

Tuesday, September 04, 2007


Spent the weekend teaching Motorcycle Safety!


sent from my iphone

Friday, August 31, 2007

one day at a time...

I'm pretty sure I saw it a couple of times. It's been so long, I thought I might have been mistaken. But it was real, brief but real. It brightened the room and warmed my heart.
L. Y.
an actual smile
the kind you do with your eyes
how I've longed to see.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Wow! I'm so sorry...

It's been quite a while hasn't it? I've really been neglecting you.

Between finishing school, taking my final exams and dealing with my friend's depression and pain... life has been pretty full.

But the good news is, I got a 92 on my final and I graduated last Saturday! Yes!

I got the highest grade point average! Yes, I'm a happy camper.
Today I've been filling out online applications to take the National Certification Exam. Notarize this, photograph that and Pay Us... Whew, This is getting expensive! And after passing the Nat. Cert., I have to pay the Board of Nursing here in Virginia.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

a cry in the dark...

i want it... need it,
just a touch, however brief
but you have no time.
a word is enough
so, do you even want me?
at least tell me this

Friday, August 03, 2007

what transgression?

i ask for something
and still you do not answer
is this punishment?

Thursday, August 02, 2007

delete... me?

an aggravation...
is that what I am to you
do I misconstrue?

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Background noise...

... the continuing soundtrack of my life. I've been feeling pretty melancholy. This fits:

Big Girls Don't Cry

Da Da Da Da

The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity


I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry Don't cry Don't cry

The path that I'm walking

I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay


Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity


La Da Da Da Da Da

Sunday, July 22, 2007

43 Things...

Have you seen this site?
It's pretty cool. I joined this afternoon and I've been exploring it ever since. Want to see the list of what I want to do? Scroll to the bottom of this page.

“I am doing 43 things”
People have known for years that making a list of goals is the best way to achieve them. But most of us never get around to making a list. 43 Things is great for that! Make a list on 43 Things and see what changes happen in your life. Best of all it’s a way of connecting with other enthusiasts interested in everything from watching a space shuttle launch to grow my own vegetables. So the next time someone asks you, “what do you do?” you can answer with confidence, “I am doing 43 things!”.

Friday, July 20, 2007

come home...

despondent and blue...
when will you come back to us?
miss your smiling eyes.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

for you, my dear...


You had my heart
and we'll never be world apart
Maybe in magazines
but you'll still be my star
Baby cause in the Dark
You can see shiny Cars
And that's when you need me there
With you I'll always share

When the sun shines
We’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

These fancy things,
will never come in between
You're part of my entity
Here for Infinity
When the war has took it's part
When the world has dealt it's cards
If the hand is hard

Together we'll mend your heart
Because ...
When the sun shines
We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

You can run into my Arms
It's okay don't be alarmed
(Come into Me)
(There's no distance in between our love)
So Gonna let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more
Because ...

When the sun shines
We'll shine Together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

It's raining (raining)
Ooo baby it's raining
baby come into me
Come into me
It's raining (raining)
Ooo baby it's raining
You can always come into me
Come into me......
Please, let me help...

Tuesday, July 17, 2007


lamenting your pain
do you ever realize
tears I shed for you?

...pulled limb from limb.

or, at least that's how it feels....

She said,
"Sounds like to me you need to eliminate some things in your life that aren't really important. "

Hmmm, wonder what she thinks I should eliminate.

  • perhaps I should quit my job?
  • perhaps I should give up my friends and their needs...?
  • perhaps I should give up caring about my future... ?
  • perhaps I should give up my goals...?
  • perhaps I should give up my self love...?
  • quest for happiness?
NAW... none of these are unimportant. So what DO I eliminate?
I can't think of a thing!

and the beat goes on...

present and yet... not.
where are you when I need you?
just give me a sign.

La de da de de, la de da de da

Monday, July 16, 2007

Stress, stress and more stress...

As I mentioned, someone who is very important to me is having problems.... no, he's having a crisis. I posted that, now that I know the details, I wasn't internalizing it so much.... Yeah, Right!

I'm a wreck! Not as bad as he is of course... but I'm feeling so much of it.

I have been trying (to no avail it seems) to convince him that negativity begets negative.

And it does! Have you ever noticed when you feel beaten down and walked on... more bad stuff happens. "What Else could go Wrong??" The more you say "Oh Woe is Me..." the more woe you get? And when things are going great... and you say "I feel fabulous"... well things just go your way, you're "on a Roll"??

In his book Anatomy Trains, Tom Myers quotes Dr Moshé Feldenkrais:

'All negative emotion is expressed as flexion'

Myers says further, in Anatomy Trains:

"The general truth of this simple statement is brought home to any observer of human behavior every day. We see the hunch of anger, the slump of depression, or the cringe of fear many times and in many different forms."

I can see my friend's posture changing. I can see him "folding" inward... and it breaks my heart. I know he will survive whether he knows it or not... I know this change will not destroy him. It might even be the best possible thing for him. I've been trying to convince him of that.

But as he frequently says, "Time will tell..."

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Blackberry; no, iPhone; no, Blackberry; no ...

Confusing isn't it?
I told you I had purchased a Blackberry...right? Well, that's yesterday's news. I cancelled the Blackberry and sent it back. I bought this on Saturday:

Say Hello to iPhone!

That's right... I broke down and bought the latest, greatest Techno-craze gadget! I never do that. I think my purchases out, I plan, I research.... not this time! And I never return things, not even shoes.

And guess what... I love it!

I really would never have done it if it hadn't been for my buddy fwed. We looked at them on Friday evening. Then on Saturday he calls and says he wants to get one for his girlfriend and did I want to come along. I just couldn't take it... I had to have one.

It's all his fault!

Well, That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

love you...

Someone I love called me last night and told me about a crisis in their life. I felt like saying, "Why the hell didn't you tell me this sooner? I've been feeling it for days"!
I've mentioned that I believe I empathically "pick up" on people's pains. Well it appears it doesn't matter whether they are physical or emotional pains. And the closer I am (emotionally, not proximity, btw) to the individual, the more intense the "symptoms".

This "someone"is very close to me, very important. This is potentially a life-altering crisis. I do believe this person is seeing only negative possibilities right now. I told them "it hasn't happened yet and you don't know that it will... breathe..." (hah, practice what you preach, peg. Therapist heal thyself!)

You know... it's one thing to get a vague feeling of pain or discomfort from acquaintenances/clients/strangers, but when it's someone I love... oh my, it really throws me for a loop. For several days, I've been having intense headaches, neck pain, my jaw hurts from gritting my teeth, my back has been tight... I generally don't have these problems, well at least not since starting school.
I'm still feeling kinda "tender" today. I'm still feeling overwhelmed and frightened (my feelings? theirs? some of both?).

Now that I know what's going on.... I'm not internalizing it so much. I guess now I'm seeing it as a problem to solve. I want so badly to be able to help... at the very least... I want to hold them.

I wish they had called me earlier!


what might we do, sir?
if we had some time... time to
pleasure each other?

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Winster games...

I thought I'd share a new gaming site I found, it's called Winster. The poker game is pretty cool. You can share cards with other players. It's a pretty brainless game but it's fun.

If you use my LINK here, I get points so I can continue playing for free.

So far I haven't found anything bad or annoying about the site and you can play free each day for a limited time.

Check it out!

Monday, June 25, 2007

all good things come to those who wait...

yeah... right....
want to give you time
it doesn't work so well though
but I AM trying

new toy...

you were maybe hoping for a sex toy?? ... yeah, me too. No such luck, Lately!


I just got this:

Blackberry 7100i

Now, you know, I really want an iPhone (who doesn't?)... but I do NOT want to go to Cingular. I wanted a Treo, but I do NOT want to change to Sprint (why the hell can't Sprint/Nextel get together on their equipment and services??). Basically, I like Nextel... Period. But the only options for devices like these are the Blackberry 7100i and the Blackberry 7520.
Do I NEED this phone? Probably not. But I really despised my other phone (the i850 by Motorola).

So far, I think I like the 7100i. Getting my email on my phone is pretty cool. There is no camera, but I didn't use it that much. Do kinda miss it though. It has bluetooth, that's cool.

I have this:

The one thing about this phone I really hate is that real audio ringtones are not supported, only monophonic & polyphonic tones. At least, they SAY that will be remedied in the next software version... yeah, right. I'm not holding my breath.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Continuing Education...

I'm in a weekend seminar, Medical Intuition Level I with Kim Seer.

A practical hands-on series that provides skills you can use
immediately. Learn proven techniques on how to see into the physical body and its systems with incredible accuracy.
Find out with pinpoint precision what is causing the body’s imbalance. Learn specific methods and techniques to rectify illness and disease.
Hands-on experience overseen by highly trained Instructors.
Receive feedback on your accuracy.
Learn practical tools for the expansion of your intuition.
Advance your healing work to a higher level.
This training blends well with all modalities. No prior experience necessary.

I'll let you know what I think when the weekend is over.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Quote for the day...

I'm not afraid of dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

direction... please...

torture it is then
what is it you want from me?
begging for contact

Monday, June 18, 2007

talk to me...

some tortures I love
switches, paddles, ropes and chains
neglect is not one

'nagging' feeling...

what is your reason?
too unwilling to give it
that thing that I need.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

lazy sunday...

sitting on my ass, watching movies...

now that's the way to spend a Sunday when you've been working and going to school non-stop.

Here's one of the best movies ever:

Frequency (2000)

A rare atmospheric phenomenon allows a New York City firefighter to communicate with his son 30 years in the future via short-wave radio. The son uses this opportunity to warn the father of his impending death in a warehouse fire, and manages to save his life. However, what he does not realize is that changing history has triggered a new set of tragic events, including the murder of his mother. The two men must now work together, 30 years apart, to find the murderer before he strikes so that they can change history--again. Written by {} via
John Sullivan (Caviezel) is a New York City homicide officer who is traumatized for 30 years following the death of his father, Frank (Quaid), After finding Frank's HAM radio, John begins talking to Frank, 30 years into the future. Together, they change the past but have to find a way to stop a serial killer from murdering John's Mom & Frank's wife with a 30 year gap. Written by Ryan Harder {} via

If you haven't seen it, check it out!

what do I want?

dreams are just dreams, but...
no matter what my brain says
heart says otherwise

Saturday, June 16, 2007


only a week now
since I held you in my arms
I ache to see you

Friday, June 15, 2007

What is Wrong with..... this blog!?

NO, not MY Blog!

This One: What is Wrong With ..................YOU!?
I ran across it today and as far as I can tell... there is nothing wrong with it. In fact, it's quite good.
Specifically this post:
What is Wrong With.... The English Language...

Though I'm not as vehement as the author, I agree with much of what he writes.
Check it out... it's quite enjoyable.

Monday, June 11, 2007


what new dream is this?
to spend a night in your arms
oh, not new at all

Sunday, June 10, 2007


and suspension...
just hanging around
waiting for you to call me
to go hang around

My bud, The Scholar, & "Hello Kitty"

A little known fact about my friend "The Scholar"...
he has a (not so) secret love for Hello Kitty.

Just for him, I found these (somewhat odd) Hello Kitty websites:
Hello Kitty Tarot Cards
The Hello Kitty Airstream RV

My all time favorite site, where you could purchase a Hello Kitty Vibrator has been disabled, but no worries... here is someone blogging about it!

Another Urban Dictionary word...

Another of "my" words has been approved:
I say "my" because someone else actually coined the term... my good friend "The Scholar". Ah hell, he's quite accustomed to people stealing from him. "The Saint" steals jokes from him all the time.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

addiction, my only defense...

will this endless need,
my longing to hear your voice
push you far from me?

if there was a drug
to banish you from my soul
take it? no Never!

hunger, appetite,
my lust for you... if you will
my Achilles' heel

outta sight... outta mind...

so much on your mind?
as soon as our embrace ends
do you forget me?

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

to play or not to play...

the question, my dear
should fantasies stay just that
or bring them to light

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Crucible of my soul...

Change is hard... sometimes it's downright painful. Saying goodbye to a relationship, even if it's toxic, is very difficult.
Perhaps I'm outgrowing some of the relationships I've had for many years. People I have loved are changing. Or are they? Maybe I was just blinded by my feelings for them. Maybe I am seeing exactly who they are (and have been?). I've been mocked by these people... people I've loved. They've talked behind my back and smiled to my face... well some have smiled, some have just stopped talking to me all together.
I still love them... oh, I really love them. I just don't always like them. And now it seems I'm feeling a kind of grief... a slow and tormenting grief... a Loss.
On life's journey we make friends, we exchange our gifts. Hopefully, those gifts are cherished.
Perhaps I expect too much from these relationships. Is it expecting too much to be cherished as I cherish them?
Really... Is it?

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

So, where are all those volunteers?

I've got to have 6 more guinea pigs... uh... I mean practice clients by July 1st. Where'd they all go?????

Friday, May 18, 2007

The Cone... and I don't mean Ice Cream....

Okay, I feel the need for a risque post.
It has been a while hasn't it? Yeah, I know... all this wellness, metaphysical and anatomy stuff. I know I'm kinda consumed. But hey, it's paying off - I got another 100 on a test last night!!

Anyway, back to the subject... I want this:

It's called The Cone.

Looks like a piece of modern coffee table art doesn't it?

The best part about the Cone, though, is that it makes people smile. They don't quite know what it is at first, but something about its unusual shape and maybe its color triggers that "I think it's naughty!" feeling. Then when you show them how it works, they all get this silly grin, and some start to giggle.

Regina Lynn - Wired online

What? Not really a risque post? Ah, well... maybe someone (hint hint) will buy it for me and then we'll see. Maybe I'll post a review.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

missing you...

what consumes you now?
I'm the least of your's I feel...
Life's priorities


I'm now an editor at Urban Dictionary!

Urban Dictionary offers a daily dose of "useful translations" of hipster talk.
Atlanta Journal Constitution

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Bodily functions and poetry...

Okay, I had to. Conley did it again. He's really on a roll lately.
I just love this one.

I haven't written any haiku lately, perhaps I should excrete a few.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Human Energy Field... go on... touch me!

Well, KittyCat...
You never cease to surprise me! Here I thought I had you figured out and then you knock my socks off again (if you're gonna do that, I wish you'd just take the rest of my clothes off me and then we can have some real fun). So, you can sense, feel, transfer bio energy? That's so damned cool!
I've recently started to see some auras... very very faintly, and only with some people. So I completely believe in the energy fields. But can I manipulate those fields? Hmm, maybe... but I have no real proof of it. People say I make them "feel" better. Is that simply massage of muscles? Or could it be a "massaging" of their energy fields as well? Someone once told me he could feel me massaging his aura... I was going over his body with my hands about 1/2 inch from his skin, a kind of experiment. I was more impressed that he could feel that. But I guess I was actually affecting his energy field in some way.

I KNOW I get energy from clients when I massage them. I feel much better physically when I massage. If I go days without massaging someone, I feel like I'm getting ill or at least I feel low on energy. But I, as yet, cannot actually FEEL that energy transfer.

I'm so jealous, KittyCat. When you touched me tonight... I felt a kind of tingling whether you were actively trying to take energy or give it. I felt a tingling along the sides of my face both times. I keep hearing that these metaphysical things can be learned. I sure hope so. I'm so willing to learn.

Keep surprising me, Girl! Knowledge is such a turn on!
Love you.

Friday, May 11, 2007

cat scan...

Get Fuzzy today is fabulous! is a great place for your daily comics. I get "Get Fuzzy" sent to my mail box everyday.

I also love 9 Chickweed Lane.

Monday, May 07, 2007

jus' checking...

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind,
"Pooh! ", he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing.", said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw.

"I just wanted to be sure of you"

~A.A. Milne

“... tintinnabulation that so musically wells ...

From the bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells..."

You know, I'm usually a very up-beat person. Happy, energetic... bubbly even (no! really).
But lately I've had a problem with allergies and Tinnitus and it's driving me a little batty. There is a constant humming in my head and I can't breathe (congestion I mean). It's starting to affect my personality a little. I'm not grumpy or anything but feeling a little, well... blue. And this morning I woke up with my heart AND my mind racing. It was the closest I've EVER gotten to a anxiety attack. Me? Stressed? No Way! When have I ever been stressed? Well, okay... there was that period when I was leaving my spouse and getting a divorce... but NOT NOW! I'm the happiest I've ever been. And until the last few weeks, the healthiest I've ever felt. Thank you Pollen! Allergies SUCK!

Have you noticed how many people don't REALLY want to know "How are you?". Do you think they REALLY want you to tell them what you think of this "beautiful day, isn't it?"? Nope.

The first day or two when you say you're not feeling well it's all "OH, poor dear... is there anything I can do to help?" But let it go on for a week or so.... oh no! Then it's "Uh, huh... well, sorry to hear that ... I gotta run"

Am I being too sensitive? No, not really... just being observant I think.

And believe me, I have very good friends who worry about me and check on me and want to bring me "chicken soup" (or reasonable facsimilies there of). Then there are the ones... some really important ones... who for one reason or another cannot DEAL with the pain/discomfort of others. Maybe because they are in pain themselves and don't want to be reminded.

And then there are the ones that revel in the angst. I guess because...

But those "friends" are in a whole other category... and I'm too, uh, Up-beat to discuss them right now!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

missing you...

It should be so clear
I am sitting here waiting
again, you just leave

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

The Tao of Pooh

"When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last,

"what's the first thing you say to yourself?"

"What's for breakfast? said Pooh.

"What do you say, Piglet?"

"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.

Pooh nodded thoughtfully.

"It's the same thing," he said.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

right place, right time...

"In the infinity of life where I am,
all is perfect, whole and complete.
I no longer choose to believe in old limitations and lack.
I now choose to begin to see myself
as the Universe sees me -- perfect, whole and complete.
The truth of my Being is that I was created
perfect, whole and complete.
I will always be perfect, whole and complete.
I now choose to live my life from this understanding.
I am in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing.
All is well in my world."