Friday, March 27, 2009

that voodoo you do so well...

Another strange thing has happened to me lately. It seems many strange and wonderful things have happened since I began the "alt med" journey in 2006. I'm not sure this one is so wonderful. I've explained about the empathic "thing", perhaps this is an extension of that.
Some background: I have two people in my life who are very important to me. Well, one is the most important (let's call that one VIP #1), the other (VIP #2?)... I thought the other was important, important to me anyway. VIP #2 disappeared at some point, just kinda backed out of my life (geez, is this a theme?).
It seems now that VIP #2 is back, in all honesty they never left #1's life, just mine. Soooo, #2 is back. Here's the thing, the "voodoo" thing... I now FEEL... vibes (?). I mean things I've not been told but things that seem to turn out correct none the less. Things like... I'm being "handled". It's like...ummmm... peg needs to be controlled YET we don't want to lose her... so we "Handle" her. Like I'm being discussed. There is no concrete evidence to prove any of this yet I know deep down inside that what I'm feeling is correct, it's valid. Is this making any sense? No, I guess not. (Actually sounds a little like paranoia doesn't it? ... damn!)
VIP #1 however, says "No", "Absolutely Not", "You're being silly". I also know that these words are meant to protect me not harm. It doesn't change the fact that I know I'm right. But, what to do about it? I could throw a temper-tantrum and put all my fears and dreams out there... but to what end? Should I just return to being the happy playmate and just enjoy them? That's my inclination. But it's still... there...
You know, it's terribly annoying to wear your feelings on your sleeve all the freakin' time. I'm also starting to wonder if my newfound talents are good for me. I'm going to have to figure out some sort of BALANCE... AND SOON!
what is this new gift?
what voodoo has taken hold,
to give me insight?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

something's changed...

that thread that binds us

seems to be more tenuous
have I lost your love?