Saturday, June 20, 2009

harsh reality...

Why did you lie then?
My heart and trust are broken
what do I do now?

Thursday, June 18, 2009

still here...

her pain lessens not,
he enjoys the benefit
of memory loss

needing a painkiller...

feeling unwanted.
how does she survive the pain
of a best friend lost?

Monday, June 15, 2009

redemption needed...

will you forgive me?
tired of being the one
causing all the pain

Thursday, June 11, 2009

for a drowning woman...

a life-line given
tiny message in the void
still love you too, Yes!

my latest endeavor...

On the evening of Tuesday April 14th I attended a "Belly Fat Advanced Weight Loss Seminar" held at a local health food store. The seminar was put on by Dr. Klinton Kranski.
Uh huh... I know what you're thinking... "one of THOSE seminars".
This was the idea of my friend T. You know, the "skinny little bitch". EXACTLY, why does the skinny lil bitch need to go to a Belly Fat workshop?? Hmmm, it was an attempt to get her mom, hubby and me to check it out, me thinks. As I said I'd go with her I had no intention of buying into the spiel but I did attend. AND I did take advantage of the "reduced price/good only today" evaluation. No... T, hubby and Mom did NOT. I was the guinea pig I suppose.
Weird as it all was, there were too many bells going off in my head for me to totally dismiss it. And those bells continued. The first bell was when Dr. K's assistant walked in. J was peppy, perky, cute... and very familiar. hmmm.
I had my evaluation a week later. As I pulled into the parking lot I noticed it was right next door to a business I was very familiar with. Before going in to my appointment, I stepped into that adjacent business to say "HI" to Jim. I don't go to Southside for much and here the only two businesses I've had anything to do with in years are side by side. Okay... minor bell but a DING none the less. I went in to Doc's office and J was at the reception window and her mom (also an employee) was there as well. I said Hi and we chatted a little. After a very short wait, J's Mom took me back for my evaluation testing. After that, I went in to see Dr. K and he explained the results and a bit about the program... and the cost. I was hesitant but those tiny bells were still going off, quietly in the background. I didn't feel I could afford to spend money on this especially just after being out of work for a while with the broken leg. I questioned him and then I went out to the front to question J and Mom. I was going to walk out with out signing up, I really was. But I changed my mind right there at J's window. I really don't know why.
While we were doing paper work, I noticed a tube of hand cream on J's desk. It was a brand I recognized and I asked her if she sold that brand's products. She misunderstood, she thought I was going to try to sell HER something. I said, "No, no... Do you SELL this product" and she said yes. I said, "Is your email address _________?" And she said with a bewildered look on her face "yessss". "I KNOW YOU!!" I yelled. She said, "I KNEW you looked familiar!"
Turns out I had met J not too many months prior at an event we both worked, I for chair massage and she was there with her product. And let me tell you she was not the svelt, perky lil thing she is now... SHE had been on the program (as had her mom). Ding, Ding, DING!

Well, I've finished the program... okay I've finished with my appointments anyway. I've shed 26 pounds so far and more than 16 inches. And I'm still going.

The diet was quite familiar to me as I've done a similar plan in the past. It was easy for me... perhaps not at first but it's very easy for me now.
The appointments were quite different from what I expected. I like to joke that Dr. K taps my spine and talks to my endocrine system. He uses acupressure techniques extensively, not just to regulate hormones and aid weightloss but he also used it to help with many of my other problems... pain, allergies, sinus congestion, tinnitus, etc.

I feel healthier than I've been in years.
So, if something sounds strange or weird... don't discount it immediately.
And if you have ringing in your ears... it might just be those bells trying to tell you something.
Go ahead and LISTEN!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

angst a plenty...

tell me what it means.
friends enough? money enough?
no more need of me?

Medical emergency...

I had an X-ray done today, and they found you in my heart.
The Doctor said if they took you out, I would die,
because I could not live without you as a friend.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

honesty, please...

was i mistaken
or was i not friend enough?
you could give me up?

Saturday, June 06, 2009

is this goodbye?

I'm worth so little?

that you could just say goodbye
said you'd never leave.