Background noise...

... the continuing soundtrack of my life. I've been feeling pretty melancholy. This fits:

Big Girls Don't Cry

Fergie

Da Da Da Da

The smell of your skin lingers on me now

You're probably on your flight back to your home town

I need some shelter of my own protection baby

To be with myself and center, clarity

Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS:]

I hope you know, I hope you know

That this has nothing to do with you

It's personal, myself and I

We've got some straightenin' out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

But I've got to get a move on with my life

It's time to be a big girl now

And big girls don't cry

Don't cry Don't cry Don't cry

The path that I'm walking

I must go alone

I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown

Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?

And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

[CHORUS]

Like the little school mate in the school yard

We'll play jacks and uno cards

I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine Valentine

Yes you can hold my hand if you want to

'Cause I want to hold yours too

We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds

But it's time for me to go home

It's getting late, dark outside

I need to be with myself and center, clarity

Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS]

La Da Da Da Da Da

43 Things...

Have you seen this site? http://www.43things.com/
It's pretty cool. I joined this afternoon and I've been exploring it ever since. Want to see the list of what I want to do? Scroll to the bottom of this page.

“I am doing 43 things”
People have known for years that making a list of goals is the best way to achieve them. But most of us never get around to making a list. 43 Things is great for that! Make a list on 43 Things and see what changes happen in your life. Best of all it’s a way of connecting with other enthusiasts interested in everything from watching a space shuttle launch to grow my own vegetables. So the next time someone asks you, “what do you do?” you can answer with confidence, “I am doing 43 things!”.

come home...

despondent and blue...

when will you come back to us?

miss your smiling eyes.

~

for you, my dear...

Music Videos - Umbrella

Umbrella

Rihanna

You had my heart
and we'll never be world apart
Maybe in magazines
but you'll still be my star
Baby cause in the Dark
You can see shiny Cars
And that's when you need me there
With you I'll always share
Because

[Chorus]
When the sun shines
We’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

These fancy things,
will never come in between
You're part of my entity
Here for Infinity
When the war has took it's part
When the world has dealt it's cards
If the hand is hard

Together we'll mend your heart
Because ...
[CHORUS]
When the sun shines
We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

[BRIDGE]
You can run into my Arms
It's okay don't be alarmed
(Come into Me)
(There's no distance in between our love)
So Gonna let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more
Because ...

[CHORUS]
When the sun shines
We'll shine Together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

It's raining (raining)
Ooo baby it's raining
baby come into me
Come into me
It's raining (raining)
Ooo baby it's raining
You can always come into me
Come into me......

Please, let me help...

connection...

lamenting your pain

do you ever realize

tears I shed for you?

~

...pulled limb from limb.

or, at least that's how it feels....

She said,
"Sounds like to me you need to eliminate some things in your life that aren't really important. "

Hmmm, wonder what she thinks I should eliminate.

• perhaps I should quit my job?
• perhaps I should give up my friends and their needs...?
• perhaps I should give up caring about my future... ?
• perhaps I should give up my goals...?
• perhaps I should give up my self love...?
• ...my quest for happiness?

NAW... none of these are unimportant. So what DO I eliminate?
I can't think of a thing!

and the beat goes on...

present and yet... not.

where are you when I need you?

just give me a sign.

~

La de da de de, la de da de da

Stress, stress and more stress...

As I mentioned, someone who is very important to me is having problems.... no, he's having a crisis. I posted that, now that I know the details, I wasn't internalizing it so much.... Yeah, Right!

I'm a wreck! Not as bad as he is of course... but I'm feeling so much of it.

I have been trying (to no avail it seems) to convince him that negativity begets negative.

And it does! Have you ever noticed when you feel beaten down and walked on... more bad stuff happens. "What Else could go Wrong??" The more you say "Oh Woe is Me..." the more woe you get? And when things are going great... and you say "I feel fabulous"... well things just go your way, you're "on a Roll"??

In his book Anatomy Trains, Tom Myers quotes Dr Moshé Feldenkrais:

'All negative emotion is expressed as flexion'

Myers says further, in Anatomy Trains:

"The general truth of this simple statement is brought home to any observer of human behavior every day. We see the hunch of anger, the slump of depression, or the cringe of fear many times and in many different forms."

I can see my friend's posture changing. I can see him "folding" inward... and it breaks my heart. I know he will survive whether he knows it or not... I know this change will not destroy him. It might even be the best possible thing for him. I've been trying to convince him of that.

But as he frequently says, "Time will tell..."

NASA Photo of the day...ooooh, pretty...

This Cassini image is a color map of the composition of a portion of Saturn's moon Hyperion. In this map, blue shows the maximum exposure of frozen water, red denotes carbon dioxide ice ("dry ice"), magenta indicates regions of water plus carbon dioxide, yellow is a mix of carbon dioxide and an unidentified material. The map was made with data from the Visual and Infrared Mapping Spectrometer aboard the Cassini spacecraft during its flyby of Hyperion in September 2005. Image credit: NASA/JPL/University of Arizona/Ames/Space Science Institute.

Blackberry; no, iPhone; no, Blackberry; no ...

Confusing isn't it?

I told you I had purchased a Blackberry...right? Well, that's yesterday's news. I cancelled the Blackberry and sent it back. I bought this on Saturday:

Say Hello to iPhone!

That's right... I broke down and bought the latest, greatest Techno-craze gadget! I never do that. I think my purchases out, I plan, I research.... not this time! And I never return things, not even shoes.

And guess what... I love it!

I really would never have done it if it hadn't been for my buddy fwed. We looked at them on Friday evening. Then on Saturday he calls and says he wants to get one for his girlfriend and did I want to come along. I just couldn't take it... I had to have one.

It's all his fault!

Well, That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!