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A Dirty Job A Novel
by Christopher Moore
Charlie Asher is a pretty normal guy. A little hapless, somewhat neurotic, sort of a hypochondriac. He's what's known as a Beta Male: the kind of fellow who makes his way through life by being careful and constant -- you know, the one who's always there to pick up the pieces when the girl gets dumped by the bigger/taller/stronger Alpha Male.
But Charlie's been lucky. He owns a building in the heart of San Francisco, and runs a secondhand store with the help of a couple of loyal, if marginally insane, employees. He's married to a bright and pretty woman who actually loves him for his normalcy. And she, Rachel, is about to have their first child.
Yes, Charlie's doing okay for a Beta. That is, until the day his daughter, Sophie, is born. Just as Charlie -- exhausted from the birth -- turns to go home, he sees a strange man in mint-green golf wear at Rachel's hospital bedside, a man who claims that no one should be able to see him. But see him Charlie does, and from here on out, things get really weird. . . .
People start dropping dead around him, giant ravens perch on his building, and it seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been
recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one:Death. It's a dirty job. But hey, somebody's gotta do it.
"One of the antic Moore's funniest capers yet." --Kirkus Reviews
Published by William Morrow
hardcover 24.95 paperback $9.95
| What character from "A Dirty Job" are you? Lily The Goth Girl. Nothing totaly cool happens to you, ever! You envy Asher's position of Death. you can be a real bitch, and you aren`t afraid to admit it. but still have a small ray of affection shining through. |
| Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests. |
My Love,
It's truly surprising how a simple, short email can remedy EVERY bad feeling I've been having.
I have my very own psychosis...
or perhaps it's a neurosis...
I know I have done nothing wrong.
I do go overboard at times... yes, I'm aware of that. I sometimes become, for lack of a better word, compulsive. But all in all, I don't do anything to harm anyone and I try to not annoy or bother though sometimes it's impossible to avoid completely, at least where you are concerned. Most of my time is spent trying to figure out how to FIX people. And I want to fix everything for you. Of course I know that I can't and that's the most painful part for me.
The last time I saw you was perfect... at least for ME! Time alone together. Time to just hold each other. After leaving you, I was filled with the warmest glow. You know what that was? Love... plain and simple and the knowledge that I made a difference for you, however small. I was so enthralled... I never went to sleep. Then morning came and I did something I shouldn't have. Oh it wasn't a bad thing, just ill timed. I'm sure it wasn't as earth shattering as it felt to me at the moment, not at all, a rediculous thought. But I've come to realize that I second-guess my words and actions toward you lately. How will you react to This email? What will be the consequences of calling you right now? Will I annoy you? I analyze everything.
THIS is my neurosis. Intellectually, I know that you don't react... or over react to my every word or emotion. But my soul aches to make everything better for you and when I feel I've done some little thing to make things worse, I obsess! I am learning to deal with this and not freak out... but then, you KNOW me eh?
When you sent those ten little words above... I just melted.
It don't take much, do it?
