Wednesday, December 30, 2009

lost in you...


Heaven in your arms

drifting down into your eyes
your mouth is the world
~

Friday, December 18, 2009

am I dreaming?

ah, to awaken
by a kiss on the forehead
what a great surprise
~

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Monday, September 21, 2009

Not Quite

Not Quite
I'm glad I'm not the only one who goes to Wally World for the laughs!

Monday, August 24, 2009

it's a bitter pill...

Damn the soothsayers
I was told you'd break my heart
Well, and so you have.
~

Loneliness appears at nite...

You give them away
To someone else, but not me
Your words... And your touch?
~

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Auto-Tune the News #6: Michael Jackson. drugs. Palin.

Pretty fuckin' funny! Take a look. Love the way they modulated the voices to sound like Song. Genius.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

starting to wonder...

but what about you?
where are you when I need you?
I've been there each time.
~

do i believe you?

easy to say it
never stop loving you, dear
but can you prove it?
~

Central Virginia losing part of it's identity?

Will Central Virginia be losing Ukrops Supermarkets??

Seems the time-worn rumors might be true, this time!

http://www.wtvr.com/wtvr-ukrops-for-sale,0,1884164.story

I've been unfaithful on occasion... visiting the new and shining Atlee Kroger store or quickly running into the Mechanicsville Foodlion (but no other F'lions... yuck). But I always come back to the U. I will be heartbroken if we lose Ukrops.

The only thing that could assuage my pain would be a Whole Foods in Mechanicsville. It's a real pain to go into Short Pump just to run into WF's (well for anything really... traffic... bah!).

But I'm getting used to heart-break... lately.

Monday, July 13, 2009

familiarity breeds what?

finally got it!
said you know every inch...
you're tired of me?
~

just one ?

how many more, dear?
i only have one question...
just this... Why not me?
~

a miss step...

why did I trust you?
oh, why did I let you in?
better off alone?
~

Michael Franti - Say Hey

a fantastic song... Love, love, love... for the entire world!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

harsh reality...



Why did you lie then?
My heart and trust are broken
what do I do now?
~

Thursday, June 18, 2009

still here...

her pain lessens not,
he enjoys the benefit
of memory loss
~

needing a painkiller...

feeling unwanted.
how does she survive the pain
of a best friend lost?
~

Monday, June 15, 2009

redemption needed...

will you forgive me?
tired of being the one
causing all the pain
~

Thursday, June 11, 2009

for a drowning woman...

a life-line given
tiny message in the void
still love you too, Yes!
~

my latest endeavor...

On the evening of Tuesday April 14th I attended a "Belly Fat Advanced Weight Loss Seminar" held at a local health food store. The seminar was put on by Dr. Klinton Kranski.
Uh huh... I know what you're thinking... "one of THOSE seminars".
This was the idea of my friend T. You know, the "skinny little bitch". EXACTLY, why does the skinny lil bitch need to go to a Belly Fat workshop?? Hmmm, it was an attempt to get her mom, hubby and me to check it out, me thinks. As I said I'd go with her I had no intention of buying into the spiel but I did attend. AND I did take advantage of the "reduced price/good only today" evaluation. No... T, hubby and Mom did NOT. I was the guinea pig I suppose.
Weird as it all was, there were too many bells going off in my head for me to totally dismiss it. And those bells continued. The first bell was when Dr. K's assistant walked in. J was peppy, perky, cute... and very familiar. hmmm.
I had my evaluation a week later. As I pulled into the parking lot I noticed it was right next door to a business I was very familiar with. Before going in to my appointment, I stepped into that adjacent business to say "HI" to Jim. I don't go to Southside for much and here the only two businesses I've had anything to do with in years are side by side. Okay... minor bell but a DING none the less. I went in to Doc's office and J was at the reception window and her mom (also an employee) was there as well. I said Hi and we chatted a little. After a very short wait, J's Mom took me back for my evaluation testing. After that, I went in to see Dr. K and he explained the results and a bit about the program... and the cost. I was hesitant but those tiny bells were still going off, quietly in the background. I didn't feel I could afford to spend money on this especially just after being out of work for a while with the broken leg. I questioned him and then I went out to the front to question J and Mom. I was going to walk out with out signing up, I really was. But I changed my mind right there at J's window. I really don't know why.
While we were doing paper work, I noticed a tube of hand cream on J's desk. It was a brand I recognized and I asked her if she sold that brand's products. She misunderstood, she thought I was going to try to sell HER something. I said, "No, no... Do you SELL this product" and she said yes. I said, "Is your email address _________?" And she said with a bewildered look on her face "yessss". "I KNOW YOU!!" I yelled. She said, "I KNEW you looked familiar!"
Turns out I had met J not too many months prior at an event we both worked, I for chair massage and she was there with her product. And let me tell you she was not the svelt, perky lil thing she is now... SHE had been on the program (as had her mom). Ding, Ding, DING!

Well, I've finished the program... okay I've finished with my appointments anyway. I've shed 26 pounds so far and more than 16 inches. And I'm still going.

The diet was quite familiar to me as I've done a similar plan in the past. It was easy for me... perhaps not at first but it's very easy for me now.
The appointments were quite different from what I expected. I like to joke that Dr. K taps my spine and talks to my endocrine system. He uses acupressure techniques extensively, not just to regulate hormones and aid weightloss but he also used it to help with many of my other problems... pain, allergies, sinus congestion, tinnitus, etc.

I feel healthier than I've been in years.
So, if something sounds strange or weird... don't discount it immediately.
And if you have ringing in your ears... it might just be those bells trying to tell you something.
Go ahead and LISTEN!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

angst a plenty...

tell me what it means.
friends enough? money enough?
no more need of me?
~

Medical emergency...

I had an X-ray done today, and they found you in my heart.
The Doctor said if they took you out, I would die,
because I could not live without you as a friend.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

honesty, please...

was i mistaken
or was i not friend enough?
you could give me up?
~

Saturday, June 06, 2009

is this goodbye?



I'm worth so little?

that you could just say goodbye
said you'd never leave.
~

Saturday, May 30, 2009

delusional?




to voice it out loud

or believe it in your mind
doesn't make it so
~

confusion...



why have you left me?

in heart, not reality
what did i do wrong?
~

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

today's tragedy...



you tell me lies, love

for my own good? or for yours?
please don't let this last.
~

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Just set up iphone to post to blog! Technology, I just love it.
Just in time for my long weekend at the beach. I'm heading to Sandbridge, VA. Can't wait!

Friday, May 15, 2009

fool, foolish, foolhardy...

the one you pine for...
does she feel the way I do?
do you wait for her?
~

Monday, May 11, 2009

a long, long weekend...

enduring silence
why must it torture me thus?
deign to call me, please.
~

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Validation

this is more than 16 minutes long... but you Must watch it. It's fabulous!
Too bad we can't start each day by watching this.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Nurturing the Mother Certification...

FINALLY! I didn't think this certification would EVER arrive!



Nurturing the Mother is a peri-natal massage certification from Claire Marie Miller Seminars, Inc. in Chapel Hill, NC.

Friday, March 27, 2009

that voodoo you do so well...

Another strange thing has happened to me lately. It seems many strange and wonderful things have happened since I began the "alt med" journey in 2006. I'm not sure this one is so wonderful. I've explained about the empathic "thing", perhaps this is an extension of that.
Some background: I have two people in my life who are very important to me. Well, one is the most important (let's call that one VIP #1), the other (VIP #2?)... I thought the other was important, important to me anyway. VIP #2 disappeared at some point, just kinda backed out of my life (geez, is this a theme?).
It seems now that VIP #2 is back, in all honesty they never left #1's life, just mine. Soooo, #2 is back. Here's the thing, the "voodoo" thing... I now FEEL... vibes (?). I mean things I've not been told but things that seem to turn out correct none the less. Things like... I'm being "handled". It's like...ummmm... peg needs to be controlled YET we don't want to lose her... so we "Handle" her. Like I'm being discussed. There is no concrete evidence to prove any of this yet I know deep down inside that what I'm feeling is correct, it's valid. Is this making any sense? No, I guess not. (Actually sounds a little like paranoia doesn't it? ... damn!)
VIP #1 however, says "No", "Absolutely Not", "You're being silly". I also know that these words are meant to protect me not harm. It doesn't change the fact that I know I'm right. But, what to do about it? I could throw a temper-tantrum and put all my fears and dreams out there... but to what end? Should I just return to being the happy playmate and just enjoy them? That's my inclination. But it's still... there...
You know, it's terribly annoying to wear your feelings on your sleeve all the freakin' time. I'm also starting to wonder if my newfound talents are good for me. I'm going to have to figure out some sort of BALANCE... AND SOON!
what is this new gift?
what voodoo has taken hold,
to give me insight?
~

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

something's changed...



that thread that binds us

seems to be more tenuous
have I lost your love?
~

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

wishes, hopes and dreams...

to speak it would be,
to voice my heart's one desire
could cause too much pain.
~

Saturday, February 21, 2009

feelin' needy...

how do I endure?
I'd be a fool to say it
want you in my life
~

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Tib/Fib break...


I wanna walk now

too long sitting on my ass
fractures suck big time!
~

ad·dic·tion : \ə-ˈdik-shən, a-\ ...


what did you expect?

you made me fall in love, dear
hope you still want me
~

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

WHY? I never....

I took one of those silly quizzes on Facebook:
What is Your
Sexual Personality?

You are a SEXUAL DEVIANT!
Wow. You. Are. A. FREAK! Can I get your number? Seriously call me.
As personalities go, you out-freak, out-sex, out-lust 98% of the worldwide population.
i wish sex produced food, because you would feed all of rural China.
OKAY... I have nothing to say to that...

Monday, January 26, 2009

the process of healing...

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu
Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)
Okay, here's to steppin' real soon!! I can't wait. The surgeon, Dr. Weiss, says he will let me put weight on my leg at my next appointment. That will be February 9th. I sure hope he tells me I can drive 'cause I'm down right Stir Crazy!


Xrays January 8th, 2009

11 days after surgery (including lovely colors from bruising and cellucitis).



view of leg today, January 26, 2009
Looks really good, don't ya think?

I'm very pleased with the progress. There is a significant amount of adhesion going on under those scars and I'm working on releasing those. It's do-it-now with some discomfort or wait and do it later with LOTS of discomfort and hard work. The major effect of the adhesions right now is a difficulty in Eversion.

There is a lot of metal in that leg now (as you can see in the xrays). That doesn't bother me as long as it stays and my body doesn't give me trouble with it. I do not plan to be cut into ever again if I can help it. I may have some hiccups if and when I ever fly on commercial air lines.

My recovery has seemed very slow. Time is relative, I guess. I'm just bored and frustrated that I can't be out doing the things I love... well, not yet. In actuality, I believe recovery has been pretty rapid. I have, historically healed rather slowly, something I get from my mother. But this time it seems my body is cooperating nicely. I believe I can attribute that to my change in lifestyle, activities and attitude. My career change and my entry into the world of alternative medicine has been good for me in SO MANY ways. This recovery process is just another example of that.

Once again, I thank my lucky stars for finding my way to that world.
And in "Lucky Stars" I mean, my BEST BUDDY - C who inspired me, mentored me, and told me the BEST (ONLY) school to attend and My teacher/employer/FRIEND - Pam who has taught me everything she knows, groomed me to be a great therapist and teacher and who has been a terrific friend and confidante.
I love you guys more than I can express!