I am broken...

It took me a while to be able to actually write this down... I guess if I can, maybe just maybe I'll be okay.

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Well it appears I've been a real fool. I've been betrayed by several people. Worst of all my best friend...

My gullibility is devastating.

My "friend" has lied to me about so many things, not the least of which was that I was "the best friend" he's "ever had". And you have no idea the things I've done for him... the things I've done to help him... things I've done to protect him.

I don't know if I can ever forgive this man. I trusted him. I trusted him to do so many things to me which I would never have dreamed of letting anyone else do. I let him see a side of me that no one has ever seen. And now I don't know if I can ever let anyone else see me that way. Maybe I will not be able to let anyone else "In".

I never thought I wanted anything in return for the things I did for him. BUT, I was wrong... I DID want something in return. Of course I wanted his love but I really wanted his loyalty. I wonder if I ever had that.

Did I? Did I ever have your loyalty? Did you ever really care? I wish you'd answer these questions... I really do.