and one for today...

give me a kiss, and to that kiss a score;

then to that twenty,

add a hundred more; a thousand to that hundred:

so kiss on, to make that thousand up a million. treble that million, and when that is done, let's kiss afresh,

as when we first begun!

-robert herrick

Quote for the day...

life is too important to be taken seriously. -oscar wilde

Subtle changes...

we all have a place
dank, ugly... in our souls, but
Light holds it at bay
~

It really is amazing, the changes a class can make in your life... in your attitudes, your desires, your outlook on life! I feel myself changing in so many ways, some subtle and some more profound.
Okay, maybe a simple class doesn't really DO that. I mean, a quilting or pottery class might not produce noticeable changes in your personality. However, studying subjects in the medical field, alt. medicine and other "caregiver" subjects... is affecting me in unexpected ways.

In my younger years, I wouldn't have dreamed of wanting to put my hands on anyone I wasn't very close to. This started changing in the past few years due to some wonderful people that came into my life... but I still never thought of really Touching strangers. Now (and it didn't take long) I crave it. Not in a weird way... really! I crave the human connection, the energy transfer and I crave the feeling I get when I help someone feel better. I was surprised and amazed at how much better I feel, physically and emotionally, when I GIVE a massage.
That's pretty profound... I think!

As for the more subtle changes?
Ah well... this I've really noticed recently... in the last few days actually.

I've mentioned someone abruptly dropping out of my life. Not physically... this person is still present and accounted for, but pulled away from me... me the confidant, the "soul mate". I was the one they turned to to talk it all out. I was the sounding board. Then POOF, gone! No deep discussions, no confiding, no crying on my shoulder... We still saw each other. We went out with friends and we "chatted" but it wasn't the same... and I was HURT.
When we had confided, I tried to be supportive and not judge. I tried to be the good friend. I do remember telling this person that they needed to find a way to change things... they were SO unhappy, really deep down, "bone weary" sad. I wanted to help. NO, I wanted to be THE ONE to help. And it was killing me that this friend was still living in unhappiness AND not availing themselves of MY friendship. Wow, how arrogant was I?

Lately, I (and others) have noticed changes in this person. I've noticed there is no longer the constant scowl, there is a more upbeat tone to the voice and a more outgoing personality. We had a email conversation the other day and I came out and asked this person if they were happy. The answer was "I am happy. Very happy..." My first impulse was... "geez, is _____ trying to convince themselves or me?" But Wait, Peg! Wait just one damned minute......
What was the FIRST thing you learned in massage classes?

A person's pain is THEIR pain. It doesn't matter what I think about their pain. It doesn't matter if I think it would not be painful at all... to ME. MY opinion about THEIR pain is irrelevant... absolutely and totally, irrelevant! So, wouldn't the same thing be true of happiness? If they say they are happy.... then that's what they are and I have no right... NO RIGHT... to question it.

And hell! I was the one, after all that said, "you need to find a way to be happier". So, did I really want their happiness? Or did I want to be the crutch?
Ah HAH! Self-revelation isn't always pretty.

Well, be assured, My Love... I am thrilled things are working out for you and that you're happy. I'm still here and I love you dearly. And I apologize!

sooooo much going on...

Just wanted to stop in and tell you all that I'm alive and well. Things are so hectic right now. Tomorrow evening I will be evaluated on my massage routine, then I can go out and work with my practice clients. Cross your fingers that I pass that!! Tonight I have a test on the Nervous System in Anatomy class... oh goody (she says facetiously).

And NOW I have to go to work! Wow I'm tired already...

"Ooh-rah!"

Happy 231st Birthday to the

United States Marine Corps!

I enjoyed reading this guy's blog.

A past post explains the "Ooh-Rah" battle cry.

One tag line on his page says
"When in doubt, empty the magazine."

I LIKE IT.

Posse perplexity...

"It is all too clear that you don't want any thing to do with me, so I won't bother you anymore."

Actually, I'd wager that nothing is clear to you at all.

You know.... I'm just a little weary of (SOME of) my friends being selfish, impatient, demanding, snide, etc.
I thought you understood that I had a direction and purpose in going to school.

I thought everyone was happy for me.

Then WHY do I keep hearing "We never see you anymore" "Where the hell have you been?" "You don't care about me/us anymore" Some of you say nothing at all TO ME... you just make the catty remarks in front of Bestest RoomMate so you know it will get back to me (After all, she cares about me and my feelings). Some of you don't even answer a simple email... nothing!

Hell, I've even heard, when Bestest RoomMate wants to spend time to herself, that I've been a bad influence on Her!?!?! I've been referred to lately as her "Ball and Chain"!
What the ???
I've been told that I've become "boring".

Perhaps they all think they are being humorous... but it's starting to annoy... hurt even.

Is it just that everyone is missing me and they don't really know how to express it? Are they jealous that I have a direction that I'm excited about???
And I AM excited. Massage school energizes me, engages me, thrills me. "C" understands... maybe he's the only one who really does!

(And you know, one person in particular has no RIGHT at all to be upset or jealous.... since they removed themselves from my life, for all intents and purposes, long ago.)

Good lord people... school is only a year and I've just begun!

Ah well, perhaps I should just take Booger's advice....

"fuck 'em! After all..."

if they don't understand you

they'll get over it

~

sometimes, P.M. ... I feel drugged...

Stoned

by Dido

When you're stoned, baby

And I am drunk

and we make love

It seems a little desolate

It's hard sometimes not to look away

And think what's the point

when I'm having to hold this fire down

I think I'll explode if I can't feel this freely now

'Cause if you won't let me fall for you

Then you won't see the best that

I would love to do for you

Instead you will be missing me when I go

'Cause I'm bored of hangin out,

in your cold

When I feel loved, baby,

I join the road

And the world moves with me

When I feel lost I just slip away

Silently, quietly take my things and go

And think what's the point,

think where's the hope

we're coming home

'Cause if you won't let me fall for you

Then you won't see the best that

I would love to do for you

Instead you will be missing me when I go

'Cause I'm bored of hanging out, in your cold.

And if you find one day,

find some freedom and relief

And with this freedom maybe,

maybe you will find some peace

And with this peace, baby

I hope it brings you back to me

Bring you home,

take me home

'Cause if you won't let me fall for you

Then you won't see the best that

I would love to do for you

Instead you will be missing me when I go

'Cause I'm bored of hangin out,

in your cold

Wha-oh... take me home

Wha-oh... take me home

When you're stoned, baby...

take me home

Wha-oh...

forgive me....

Please forgive me for not being around. I'm so tired....

Working 5 days a week, going to class 3 nights a week and I've been helping to teach a motorcycle safety instructor course on the weekends. Whew! Yep, I'm wiped out.

On a happy note, Thursday, Oct. 19th was my birthday. I took the day off and had a nice lunch with MY GIRLS, MY POSSE, MY PEEPS... We had lunch at Dot's Back Inn on the Northside. Dot's is a great little neighborhood eatery. They have the most awesome Reuben!

Massage Classes are going well. I'm really enjoying them, even Anatomy.
We finally started learning the actual massage routine and we started learning the muscles of the body. The first muscles we must learn are:

Muscles of the Hand and Wrist:

Thenar Eminence
Flexor Pollicis Brevis (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Abductor Pollicis Brevis (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Opponens Pollicis (Origin, Insertion & Action)

Adductor Pollicis (Origin, Insertion & Action)

Hypothenar Eminence
Flexor Digiti Minimi (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Abductor Digiti Minimi (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Opponens Digiti Minimi (Origin, Insertion & Action)

Lumbricals (deep between MCs)

Finger and Wrist Flexors
Flexor Pollicis Longus (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Flexor Digitorum Profundus (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Flexor Digitorum Superficialis (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Flexor Carpi Radialis (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Flexor Carpi Ulnaris (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Palmaris Longus (Origin, Insertion & Action)

Finger and Wrist Extensors
Extensor Carpi Radialis Longus & Brevis (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Extensor Carpi Ulnaris (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Extensor Digitorum (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Extensor Digiti Minimi (Origin & Action)
Extensor Indicis (Origin & Action)


Muscles of the Forearm and Arm:

Pronator Quadratus (name)
Pronator Teres (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Supinator (name)
Brachioradialis (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Brachialis (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Coracobrachialis (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Biceps Brachii (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Triceps Brachii (Origin, Insertion & Action)
Anconeus (Action)
Deltoids (Origin, Insertion & Action)

Love

"The world moves for love.

It kneels before it in awe."

Waiterrant! Bravo!

Waiter's post for yesterday is truly sublime! Check out "Void Codes" at waiterrant.net.

"...a “void” is when management removes an item from a customer’s check"

Some highlights:

21. Customer didn’t take medication this morning. (Prozac)
22. Server didn’t take medication this morning. (Marijuana)
23. Manager didn’t take medication this morning. (Jim Beam)
24. Everybody must get stoned!
25. Customer didn’t listen to waiter’s recommendations. (The “I told you so” void.)
30. The “shut the customer the fuck up” void!

I've been bad... yes, I'm sure I have...

Slam me to the wall
spin me, cuff me and take me
Sargeant Yummy, Sir!

~

What the heck happened?

I could tell she was hurt...

She was telling me about this guy she had met who worked as a bouncer at a bar she frequented. They had been doing a lot of talking and flirting when she was there. He was her age and she found him quite attractive. Each week, if she stayed until closing, he would walk her to her vehicle.

Recently, the bar closed a little early since it was a quiet night and she said to him, "We're going up to the place around the corner, do you want to join us?" After several comments about having to go to work the next day, he finally said yes he would accompany her. She bought him a beer and he drank a couple of additional drinks. They talked, as much as they could in the loud place.
After a while, he said that he needed to go because he'd stayed much longer than he had planned. She also said she needed to leave, so he offered to drive her back to her vehicle. They chatted and flirted some more. She had gotten used to the fact that he was pretty reserved, shy even. Before she got out of his truck she said that she hoped he would tell her if her exuberance ever bothered him. He said, "I never said that did I?".

As she got out, she laughed and said, "You're cute".

She crossed the street to her vehicle as he rolled down his window and said, "Just cute??". In response, she said, "Well, let's just say 'I'd DO you'. (As I understand it, this was some inside joke between them). He said, "that's better" as she drove off. She then text messaged his cell phone with: "But you could give me some hint that you're actually interested". He immediately called her cell and said, "Yes".
"Yes, what?" she asked. "YES to what you just asked!"
As she drove home, they chatted on the phone. He started telling her that he was leary of relationships, having been betrayed by someone (they had talked some about his ex-wife before). She told him that she didn't want to MARRY him. He said sarcastically, "Well, thanks!" and she said, "Geez, what do you WANT from me?
He then said, "What do YOU want?"
She told him that above all, friendship was the most important thing... but friendship "with benefits" wasn't bad either... he laughed. She DID want him. As they finished the conversation, they had agreed to work on the friendship first.

The week following, they again went to the bar up the street after he got off from work. Things were pretty much as the week before. Still taking it slow.

But now she tells me that in the last couple of weeks he's changed. He still chats with her at work... but he's much more reserved. And to top it all off, he's told some of her friends that he "Just wants to be friends"... Wow, the kiss of death. She was crushed. Bad enough that he feels that way, but to announce it to her friends!? She asked me what she had done wrong...

Maybe you didn't DO anything wrong... maybe he really is affected by his past. Maybe he can't get past it. You're very different. He's quiet, reserved and you are... hmmm, energetic... and affectionate! He told you he's not very affectionate. "Yes, but I asked if it bothered him that I was and again he shot back, 'Now did I say that it bothered me?'"

I said to her, "okay, maybe he's just a shallow bastard."
No really! Let's just see what happens. Chill Out! It's not like you won't ever see him again. Hah, easier said than done!

gotta...catch...a...breath....

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been busy, busy, busy!
But I'm feeling much better than that last post.
School (Massage Therapy) began on Sept. 6th. Three nights a week until the end of February, then Anatomy will be over and it will be 2 nights a week. I had my first test in Massage Theory class on Monday. I got a 96! Well, at first I got a 100... but when we went over it I found where the teacher had missed one incorrect answer. She thanked me for my honesty. Damnit! I wanted that 100! My first Anatomy test is next Wednesday..... eeeek!
I'm surprised at how much I actually remember from high school Health and Biology classes. But I have a feeling it's going to get more challenging!
All in all, I'm enjoying classes very much so far.

On top of 3 classes/week for Massage Therapy, I've been involved in RAD Classes on Tuesdays.
RAD stands for Rape, Aggression, Defense. If you've never heard of RAD, please check out their website.

From the website:

a comprehensive, women-only course that begins with awareness, prevention, risk reduction and risk avoidance, while progressing on to the basics of hands-on defense training. R.A.D. is not a Martial Arts program.

Why R.A.D.?

• R.A.D. is the largest network of its kind with over 7000 Instructors receiving training in our systems to date. These Instructors teach at various colleges, universities, and municipal law enforcement agencies as well as various other community organizations internationally. R.A.D. has trained more than 300,000 women since the program began in 1989.
  
• R.A.D. is the only existing program with a free lifetime return and practice policy, honored throughout both the US and Canada.
  
• R.A.D. has developed specialized simulation techniques and equipment for use by certified R.A.D. instructors.
  
• R.A.D. is the only self defense program ever endorsed by the International Association of Campus Law Enforcement Administrators (IACLEA).
  
• Lawrence N. Nadeau, Director of Instructional Development and Founder.

Here is my rendition of our beloved instructor

Sgt. Yummy (a.k.a. "Hunk-o-Cop")

purrrrrr!

dejected, melancholy, pensive, dispirited...

b l u e

begging for a word...

master, she's confused...

what do you expect from her?

give up? or stand fast?

~

Reading list...

Here's what I'm reading right now (aside from Illustrated Essentials of Musculoskeletal Anatomy that is):

The Marketplace [The Marketplace Series - Book 1] by Laura Antoniou

"Compelling, charged with electricity . . ." - Kitty Tsui

The first volume in the landmark Marketplace series, the series that set the standard for contemporary SM erotica. After Sharon, Brian, Claudia, and Robert are accepted for training by Marketplace representatives, they struggle to overcome their shortcomings; pride, selfishness, immaturity and perfectionism. Who among them will survive the training meted out by the rigorous and unrelenting Chris Parker? And who will uncover the truth of his or her own sexual need to submit? The first in the groundbreaking series, The Marketplace follows four inductees as they transition from their former lives into the world of the Marketplace. Guided under the firm hand of two slave trainers and their majordomo, Chris Parker, each of the novices struggle with and against their internal desires to become Marketplace slaves. For readers familiar with the previous edition, Antoniou has added additional material, including a sizzling short story that takes up where the novel leaves off!

Mystic Rose Books, ISBN: 0-9645960-4-0

but... but... but....

S.E. took exception to one point of my assessment. She thinks I DO get hurt easily but that I DON'T recover easily. Thus began a Private discussion, just S.E. and me... oh, and you now!

I said my assessment was correct, except when it came to certain people.
She was still incredulous: "I believe you, as I reread the statement - you ARE correct! It was not an EASY hurt - soooo, you have not EASILY recovered, soooo... statement is correct. easily hurt and easily recovered"

I said:
"It's like this ... I guess...
I do make "friends" easily... But I think it takes time to form REAL friendships (though some come easier than others).
It takes a real investment... In time, in emotion, in understanding...
I believe I put a lot into a real friendship.

My problem, I guess, is that I expect the same from others and SOMETIMES I get very very burnt by that. Not often, mind you... But sometimes.
You end up wondering why, if we were so close how can someone, just ALL OF A SUDDEN, drop completely out of your life and seem to not miss you at all??

Then, you step back and start to analyze things. You start to realize how WOUNDED (emotionally) these people are. Why didn't I see it before? Was I blind? A fool?

I've paid attention, lately, to the wounds that people carry. So many people are messed up, I mean really messed up. And I guess something in me wants to "make it all better". Maybe that's why I stayed married as long as I did.
Maybe that's why I want to be a massage therapist... At least then I can fix SOMETHING that's wrong with a person, for a little while.

As T said, it has to be someone important to me for it to really hurt.
So... Hurt easily by an friend/acquaintance? = no; annoyed? Yes; peeved? Yes.
That's easily "gotten over".
Hurt easily by a REAL Friend? Well now, there's the rub... I'm not often HURT by REAL Friends. So if it happens, yes you're right I DON'T GET OVER IT EASILY.
Oh my.... I think this is a Blog Entry... "

Know this, S.E. You are the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. I treasure our friendship and I will always be here for you. Love you!

October baby...

So, I was born in October. It was on a Thursday at 1:35 in the afternoon if you're interested. Anyway, I sent my Ya-yas my assessment of how I compare to the October entry:

Loves to chat. = oh yeah
Loves those who love them. = yep, and Woh be to those that don't.
Lies but doesn't pretend. = hmmm? I'll never tell.
Gets angry often. = not really.... peeved maybe
Treats friends importantly. = YES! But I might expect too much from them sometimes...
Brave and fearless. = Well, I'd like to think so.
Always making friends. = yup
Easily hurt but recovers easily. = OH YES!
Daydreamer. = Most definitely!
Opinionated. = uh? yes
Does not care to control emotions. = well, sometimes
Unpredictable. = hmmm
Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all. = hah!

the discussion began...

We have a "Morning Roll Call". This is me and my Ya-yas (bestest girlfriends) emailing. We discuss a myriad of subjects. All DAY sometimes. Oh, the bandwidth we waste...

Anyway, recently one of us sent this to the group:

What type of baby are you?
January:
Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn. Repost this in 5 mins and you will meet someone new in 8 days that will perfectly balance your personality.

February:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions. Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someone new and realize that you are a perfect match.

March:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others. If you repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your new love in 8 days.

April:
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confidant. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic. Hot but has brains. If you repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eye will introduce themselves and you will realize that you are very much alike in the next 2 days.

May:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High-spirited. If you repost this in the next 5 minutes, you will become close to someone you do not speak too much in the next 4 days.

June:
You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!! IN the next 6 days you will meet someone that may possibly become one of your closest friends, if you repost this in 5 minutes.

July:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover. Repost this in the next 5 mins and your reputation will boost someway in the next 12 days

August:
Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. No self-control. Kind hearted. Self-confident. Loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. Easy to get along with and talk to. Has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. in need of "that someone". Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted. Lives by "no pain no gain" caring. Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. Independent. Strong willed. A fighter. Repost in 5 mins and you will meet the love of your life sometime next month.

September:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand. If you do not repost this in the next 5 mins, someone very close to you will become mad at you in the next 8 days.

October:
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all. repost this in 5 mins or you will not meet the love of your life for 10 years.

November:
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind. Repost in 5 mins & you will excel in a major event coming up sometime this month.

December:
This straight-up means you are the most good-looking person possible... Better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. One guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves music. Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. A hot new guy/girl will catch your eye & you will catch theirs too in the next 6 days, if you repost in 5min

(feel free to use it, I sure didn't write it)

UTAH thoughts...

marshaling your thoughts

colorful and bright jerseyed

the cyclists flash by

~

a little late, S E ...
but not forgotten

haiku trio

hold me for so long

can you know what this does, dear?

a wonderful gift

~

it's never enough

makes me want you even more

should it be this way?

~

wanting to move you
my desire to please you too
most powerful draw
~

L.Y.

I FEEL FANTABULOUS!

Or as Robbie would say, STUUUUUUUPENNNDOUS!

I've been massaged, I've been cracked (chiropractor that is)...

oh, JOY!


Speaking of JOY...

THIS IS HILARIOUS!

deltoids and quadratus and pecs...

and all those other muscles.... WHAT have I gotten myself into??

I haven't told you yet (though I have hinted) but in three weeks I start on a new path. I will be attending night classes at the Institute of Massage Therapies. I have my books already and I've been trying to study anatomy (concentrating on musculature). I hear that's the hardest part. Wow... I hope I'm up to this.

I've found several sites online that are helpful:
Human Anatomy Online
Bartleby.com
Medlineplus.com
University of California, San Diego
The Hosford Muscle Tables
The Study Stack
Faculty of Biological Sciences, University of Leeds
SEER's Training Web Site
Flashcard Exchange


and my favorite:
University of WashingtonDepartment of Radiology

"Have I made a mistake?"

...She asks herself, over and over. What will come of this decision? What will come of this...menage a trois? Has she made him happy or has she lost him? All she has ever wanted was to please him.

She believes there is no guile in him, no duplicity... none at all. When she is with him, she sees that his heart is open, honest... seeking only to make her feel good. But, when they are parted, the silence brings her to her knees in fear.

"I cannot live without you." she whispers into the night, but he doesn't hear.

"the heart wants what the heart wants"

hours spent with you

pleasure... pain, rolled into one

both body and soul

~

VROD

I LOVE my new bike. I'm having so much fun.

anything for you, baby....

She asked me to post this for her...
is this a catharsis for you, dearest one? Would not your own blog be the thing??
Ah well, until then.... my place is YOUR place.
Love you....

Her very own words:

Anger and resentment can stop you in your tracks. That’s what I know now. It needs nothing to burn but the air and the life that it swallows and smothers. It’s real though, the fury, even when it isn’t. It can change you, turn you, mold you and shape you into someone you’re not. The only advantage to anger then is the person you become. Hopefully, someone that wakes up one day, and realizes they are not afraid of its journey. Someone that knows that truth is at best a partially told story. That anger, like growth, comes in spurts and fits and in its wake lays a new chance at acceptance and the promise of calm.

Then again what do I know?

O MY!

Everyone's heard of this book:
But,
believe it or not, I've never actually read it. I started reading it on my lunch break today. Whew! Hot and heavy from the first paragraph... not something you want to read in public.

Story of O
FROM THE PUBLISHER
The classic erotic novel, STORY OF O relates the love of a beautiful Parisian fashion photographer for Rene. As part of that intense love, she demands debasement and severe sexual and pychological tests. It is a unique work not to be missed.

evensong...

proclaiming my love

whether you hear it or not

every single night

~

HOT 'ROD

WoooHooo.... I went and did it! I finally broke down and bought the bike I have been drooling over for years. (bet all my buds are glad... I'm sure they were tired of hearing about it).
Picture is from my phone.... thus the teeny tiny view.

This bike is SWEET!

finder's fee...

a new one to bind

my gift to you, m'lord... but

what of me, the brat?

~

trinity...

Another enters

what new fancies might be had?

what delectations?

~

for P.M.

ShakiraWhenever, Wherever

Music Videos On Demand

Local Bloggin'....

Thought I'd mention some local (Richmond) blogs that have cropped up lately.

River City Rapids (they even use the same template as me).

Slantblog

And Another Thing (Richmond Magazine's Blog).

South of the James

just to name a few. Hell, if you want more, go to:
http://www.wric.com/Global/story.asp?S=3092024 for a list of Richmond Blogs.

*On Slantblog, Rea mentions VCU's Special Postcard Collection,

"Rarely Seen Richmond."
This is certainly worth your time, especially if you have an interest in Richmond, VA history.

OLD CITY HALL, if you saw The Murder of Mary Phagan, you've seen this building:

Main Street Station (my fav. building in the city):

the lowest of Purusharthas...

the road to Kama

you have given this to me

my education

~

Nectar most Divine

The Elixir Amrita

a myth they all say.

~

Purusharthas - the four aims of life.

Irezumi (入れ墨)... Finally!

Ring ding didle e eye eye de oh

Don't you just love a man in a kilt?

I'm with Ragdoll on this one! I think it's just downright SEXY!

I met a young man (young... 11 yrs my junior to be exact) at Element Lounge Monday nite and he was in a black kilt and killer boots. Yep, Sexy! Real Sexy!

Each October, you can find me at the Richmond Highland Games & Celtic Festival and it ain't just to drink Ale and listen to bagpipes!

Oooooh, suddenly I'm daydreaming of Kirk McLeod (Seven Nations) in a kilt..... yummmmm!

THE SCOTSMAN

• A Scottsman clad in kilts, left a bar one evening fair
• One could tell by how he walked, he'd drunk more than his share
• He staggered on until he could no longer keep his feet
• Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

Chorus: Ring ding didle e eye eye de oh, Oh Ring die diddle eye oh...

stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street ......

• Later on two young and lovely girls just happened by
• One said to the other with a twinkle in her eye
• Oh see young sleeping Scotsman, so young and handsome built
• I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilts

Chorus: Ring ding didle e eye eye de oh, Oh Ring die diddle eye oh...

wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilts

• They stepped up to that Scotsman, so young and fancy free
• They lifted up his kilt above the waist so they could see
• And there, behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt
• Twas nothing more than God had blessed him with upon his birth.

Chorus: Ring ding didle e eye eye de oh, Oh Ring die diddle eye oh...

nothing more than God had blessed him with upon his birth

• They marveled for a moment, then one said "Let's be gone."
• Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
• As a gift they left a blue ribbon, tied into a bow
• Around the bonny star that Scott's kilt lifting showed.

Chorus: Ring ding didle e eye eye de oh, Oh Ring die diddle eye oh...

'round the bonny star that Scott's kilt lifting showed

• The Scott awoke to nature's call and stumbled to the trees,
• Behind a bush he lift's his kilt, and gawks at what he sees
• Then in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
• Ach Lad, I dinna know where you been, but I see you won 1st prize.

Chorus: Ring ding didle e eye eye de oh, Oh Ring die diddle eye oh...

dinna know where you been, but I see you won 1st prize.

Thank you for NOT honking...

On my motorcycle and on my way home. It was vibrating madly between my legs as I waited at the stoplight...
I was vibrating from my experiences the night before. Thinking of the hours, the joy... I closed my eyes and left the here and now.
Reality rudely returns as I realize the light has changed...

Thank you for my gift!

L.Y.

for Werzie...

when you gettin' back online girl?!!

season of change...

never looking back

reaching toward a new goal

my re-invention

~

Quote of the dave...

Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.

- Dave Barry. American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947

use of botanicals...

a switch on backsides

blooming branch, petals flying
is this Spring Training?

~

sorcerer...

how do you divine

the very thing I want most?

every time we meet.

~

on a new path...

help me learn the touch

and pray I gain the insight

to relieve their pain

~

for Dear P.M.

how can I make it?
waiting for them drives me on
our stolen moments.
~

How do you do it?

shocking experiences.

ceaselessly thrilling.

~

finder's fee is it?

what must I do, to enjoy

alone time with you?

~

thoughts of times to come

fantasies abound for three

master and his slaves

~

what can I say, dear?

no matter what comes our way

my devotion's yours.

~

DH Lawrence poems....

Self-pity

I never saw a wild thing

sorry for itself.

A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough

without ever having felt sorry for itself.

DH Lawrence

...watched G. I. Jane today.

Anne Rice quote...

Found a good quote in Merrick by Anne Rice.

As David thinks to himself about his old friend Aaron Lightner, "Why does shame and self-loathing become cruelty to the innocent? How is that so often the case?"

Wow, does THAT sound like someone I know?!?! HINT: click here.

What I'm reading...

One of the few Anne Rice novels that I haven't read already:

I guess I'm taking a little break from Dean Koontz.

Actually, I finished the last one at lunch and didn't have the next Koontz book with me. Merrick was in the truck, so I started reading it.

lunch...

there, across the room

most beautiful man I know

and you call my name

~

no plan but to read

alone with my thoughts and lunch

then you made me smile

~

MORE LUNCHES

See, I TOLD you...

This is one of those "pass it on or else" emails... but it sounds like a true public service announcement to me...

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
7 . Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

AND OF COURSE, THE REQUISITE "OR ELSE" MESSAGE AT THE END:
This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is in a room in the basement of the Dwight House Pub. It has been sent around the world nine times. Now sex has been sent to you. The "Hot Sex Fairy" will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on.If you don't, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who doesn't?). Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price.

Life's just full of ups and downs...

Well, well... I've been kinda lazy with the blogging.
I've had some ups and some downs lately.
In the Downs Category... someone I was counting on really let me down. While this is disappointing, it's not really unexpected. To tell you the truth, there are a lot of people that could say "I told you so"... some have (T)... some just gave me "the look". You know the one, the "you REALLY should have known, I knew... why didn't you know?" look.

BUT in the Ups Category, I have a place to live. I'm hanging with G. She has graciously allowed me to move in, albeit temporarily. This will give me some time to find a place I like, whether it's a rental or a small house to buy. Now my mileage to work is lessened and I don't have to eat out every night... so I should be able to save a little bit of green. I know, T... you told me to do this long ago. You know it all, mommy! (or YOU ARE A KNOW IT ALL... one or the other).

have I been remiss?

too busy or too caught up

I've strayed from haiku

~

VELOCITY by Dean Koontz

Here's what I'm reading right now:

Blog review...

I just thought I'd mention a cool blog I found.

www.jimcarson.com

Jim's pretty cool, his blog has a myriad of diverse subjects (I like that in a blog). He blogs about food (good recipes) and debunks ads, schemes, offers etc. He also seems to be an avid cyclist (if you're into that sort of thing).

And thanks to Jim's blog, I found another interesting site... cockeyed.com.
Read The Torn Up Credit Card Application. Makes you think!
Oh, and the Mustard article is fun.

oh, give me a home...

I'm house sitting this week for "G"... a.k.a. "the smoldering ember". She's gone gambling. I've been told (by T) that I should just do this all the time... house sit that is. I told her I still need a base of operations.
I REALLY need to find myself a home.

I thought I had it covered... thought I had a place and a roommate. Alas, seems it's not to be.

Then I thought maybe... just maybe, I could get away with rooming with a friend of mine that's on his way to a break-up. But even being a purely platonic relationship... I guess that would cause all sorts of hoopla.

I guess I'm on my own.

I've been thinking about a place in the city. Me? In the city? Hmmm. But the price includes EVERTHING... electricity, cable, broadband, water, etc. And it's a COOL old building that they renovated and turned into apartments. Oh, I just don't know. I guess there's no REAL rush... but I'm spending oodles of money on gasoline driving from B.F.E. and back.

Somebody, help me decide!!!!!!!!

a kind of prison...

what will you do now?

revel in your misery?

willfully friendless.

~

incarceration

you've insulated yourself

from pain, and from life.

~

Sexiest woman alive...

Shakira

... in my opinion anyway!

The only thing that turns me on more than her body is her voice... I'm so jealous!

I love the song "Hips Don't Lie". You can hear it at her website.

It's on the Oral Fixation Vol. 2 CD.

Tell us how you really feel!

Found this at Waiterrant.

Way to go:

Jorge Carrillo, Paisley McHaffie, Hyun Kim, & Stewart Yu

You guys RULE!

These employees at Blenz Coffee on Hastings in Vancouver let their (former) employer know "Your staff is tired of your attitude, your inconsideration, your ungratefulness, and lack of trust."

here are more links:

http://www.discovervancouver.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=68280

http://www.vancouvercoffee.ca/archives/2006/02/blenz_employees.html

http://www.justagwailo.com/delicious/2006/02/05/4889

What am I reading?

Continuing the Dean Koontz marathon...

Life Expectancy
Dean Koontz

need conciliation...

in a state of flux

my mood flows this way and that

assuage my dark fears

~

Hokusai-san

COOL!

There is a Hokusai exhibit

at the Smithsonian
March 4–May 14, 2006 in the Arthur M. Sackler Gallery

My logo pic at the top of the blog is:

Thirty-six Views of Mt. Fuji: Beneath the Wave off the Coast of Kanagawaby

(aka Great Wave)

by Katsushika Hokusai (1760–1849) Japan, Edo period, ca. 1830–1831

Color woodblock print; Image: 26.1 x 38.5 cm The Mann Collection, Highland Park, Illinois

Thanks, Scholar!

Where does the %#@* comma go anyway?

I'm also reading this right now and it is hilarious!

Grammar Snobs Are Great Big Meanies, A guide to Language For Fun and Spite.

This quote from the book had me rolling in the floor:
"'Guess with whom I have a date Saturday Night'? People who talk like this, you and I well know, can't get a date at all. Ever. Most of them must make do with fuzzy memories of a middle school English teacher or with a surreptitiously acquired snapshot of the local librarian."

And did you know The Simpsons is the most grammatically and linguistically savvy show on television? It is, according to the author.

Oh, you're going to love the story about the panda that goes to Niagara Falls.

The answer to the title question? Where does the %#@* comma go anyway? Casagrande says, "Good News: No one knows how to use these things."

I Googled "The Simpsons" and "Grammar" and I found this blog:
HeiDeas Linguistics, science, books, movies, cartoons, what haveyou.
Pretty cool stuff.

Currently reading....

The Taking by Dean Koontz

Library Journal
In a small California town, Molly and Neil Sloan wake in the night to find the world experiencing the communication breakdown and extreme weather phenomena that will presage an extraterrestrial annexation of Earth. Along with the assistance of some intelligent and intuitive dogs (a Koontz trademark), Molly and Neil try to save as many children as they can from being "taken" or killed outright. In The Taking, Koontz continues his ongoing exploration of the capacity of human nature for hope, goodness, and innocence in the face of evil.

The last one I read, By The Light of the Moon, was one of the best books I've read in a very long time. I hope this one is half as good.

I think she needs a blog... don't you?

She said, "would you post this on your blog"?
For posterity? Sure!
My dear readers will get to know her... and I will know her a little bit more.

love shouldn't be a weapon or a device or a weight.
it's beauty is that it be a gift, with no strings attached to it.
for she doesn't love you

because she attaches a weight and expects things in return.
you do not love her ~ for if you did ~ you would not be calling me and dreaming of me at night alone in your bed.
how could you belong to someone else when i haven't had a chance?
i have lost you forever.

Name dropper...

Peter Cottontail, The Easter Bunny, "Oschter Haws",
Ole E. B. to his pals
That's right! He's a Personal Friend of mine!

"Here comes Peter Cottontail
hoppin' down the bunny trail
Hippity hoppity
Easters on its way!"

If you're in the area, go see E. B. at Virginia Center Commons Mall in Glen Allen, Virginia.

And tell him Peg sent you!

Not surprisingly, it was also the Germans who made the first edible Easter Bunnies in the 1800s.

gotcha Tj..... wwwaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha

in good faith...

Do you know how many songs are called "Honesty"?
Or have the word in their titles??

Well, me neither... but it sure seems like there are an awful lot of them.

Billy Joel's "Honesty"... Rodney Atkins, Alex Parks, Sevendust, Wakefield, Rosie Gaines, Youth of Today, Britney.
Elton John's "Sweet Honesty", Urge Overkill's "Honesty Flies", Thin Lizzy "Honesty Is No Excuse", Madonna's "Your Honesty", Unni Wilhelmsen's "Everyone's Honesty", LeAnn Rimes - "Sweet Honesty", Bananarama: Love Truth And Honesty, Billy Talent: Try Honesty... just to name a few.
THEN there is the word HONEST:
Honest by Kendall Payne, Verve Pipe, Bob Dylan's Honest With Me,
Daniel Bedingfield's Honest Questions, K-CI & JOJO: Honest Lover, The Rolling Stones: Honest I Do, Almost Honest by Josh Kelley, Bic Runga: Honest Goodbyes, Hard Times For An Honest Man by John Mellencamp.

Obviously, I'm not the only person wishing for a little honesty!

what reason to lie?

can hurting me be your fear?

honesty's the thing

~

Happy bloggin' anniversary to me!

I just realized today (3 weeks late) that I began blogging a year ago! Woohoo!
5669 hits later... here I am. That's not a record, I know... but I'm happy with it.

And I've met lots of cool friends... like Lady Calliah who has taught me about Dommes, Tara who has inspired me to write more, Gabby who has taught me about Subs, Lorena who has inspired me to take more photos, Zubegirl who cracks me up!

And of course, Toby... the one who started me down the blogging road!

... and my skinny jeans.

She said, "I think that I am sad, down, happy, depressed, confident all rolled into one. How can I be all of those things?"
She said, "I miss warm weather, the way things use to be and my skinny jeans."
She said, "I'm scared of being alone, living in poverty, what people say about me as a person, and that he will hate me."
She said, "I look forward to the day I can sleep in, a night where I can sleep peacefully and all night without the assistance of drugs, I look forward to a vacation.
She said, "I need help"

I said, "We ALL feel those things. I feel those things... and at the same time too."
I said, "I despise the cold, it's depressing."
I said, "I miss MY bed. And I miss my skinny jeans too! Winter sucks!"
I said, "While I'm not afraid of being alone... I AM afraid of other things... Poverty? yeah, a little... What people say? NO WAY... I know what you think about me. I know what my true friends think about me... no one else matters."
I said, "You know, I don't think 'he' is capable of hating you or anyone else. Hatred requires passion."
I said, "Just maybe, when we get our acts together... maybe we will breathe the air of peace.
If anyone doesn't like the way we live, they can just stay the hell away."
I said, "You will never be alone. I promise you that. All you gotta do is grab hold."

We WILL survive!

I love you.

Joy Machine... Yes, YES..... THAT'S IT!!!

Why We Ride....
A motorcycle is not just a two-wheeled car; the difference between driving a car and climbing onto a motorcycle is the difference between watching TV and actually living your life. We spend all our time sealed in boxes and cars are just the rolling boxes that shuffle us from home-box to work-box to store-box and back, the whole time, entombed in stale air, temperature regulated, sound insulated, and smelling of carpets.

On a motorcycle I know I'm alive. When I ride, even the familiar seems strange and glorious. The air has weight and substance as I push through it and its touch is as intimate as water to a swimmer. I feel the cool wells of air that pool under trees and the warm spokes of that fall through them. I can see everything in a sweeping 360 degrees, up, down and around, wider than Pana-Vision and than IMAX and unrestricted by ceiling or dashboard. Sometimes I even hear music. It's like hearing phantom telephones in the shower or false doorbells when vacuuming; the pattern-loving brain, seeking signals in the noise, raises acoustic ghosts out of the wind's roar.
But on a motorcycle I hear whole songs: rock 'n roll, dark orchestras, women's voices, all hidden in the air and released by speed.
At 30 miles per hour and up, smells become uncannily vivid. All the individual tree- smells and flower- smells and grass-smells flit by like chemical notes in a great plant symphony.
Sometimes the smells evoke memories so strongly that it's as though the past hangs invisible in the air around me, wanting only the most casual of rumbling time machines to unlock it. A ride on a summer afternoon can border on the rapturous. The sheer volume and variety of stimuli is like a bath for my nervous system, an electrical massage for my brain, a systems check for my soul. It tears smiles out of me: a minute ago I was dour, depressed, apathetic, numb, but now, on two wheels, big, ragged, windy smiles flap against the side of my face, billowing out of me like air from a decompressing plane.

Transportation is only a secondary function. A motorcycle is a joy machine. It's a machine of wonders, a metal bird, a motorized prosthetic. It's light and dark and shiny and dirty and warm and cold lapping over each other; it's a conduit of grace, it's a catalyst for bonding the gritty and the holy.

Cars lie to us and tell us we're safe, powerful, and in control. The air-conditioning fans murmur empty assurances and whisper, "Sleep, sleep." Motorcycles tell us a more useful truth: we are small and exposed, and probably moving too fast for our own good, but that's no reason not to enjoy every minute of the ride.

-Author Unknown

Thanks to "Mr. Gadget", who found this on XLForum.net

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

still thinking of it

can't help but be excited

rev up that motor!

~